50

Well the day has finally arrived. I have said goodbye to many decades of my life but this one is different. I have lived half a century on this earth. I have seen good and bad. I have seen some of the greatest life changing inventions ever created. I have seen history made. Some were great moments in history and some have rocked our country to its very core.
    Now is the time in life where you reflect back on your life. Some moments of my life bring a smile to my face while others make me sad. Choices that I made some good some not so great also come to mind. How could my life turned out differently with a few different choices. A little more thought could have saved me some heartache along the way. Patience is what I lack and looking back, with a little patience my choices might have been different. My life looking back is a winding road that led me to where I am today. The good choices made far outweigh the bad I will say.
    Then I look back at all of the people who have had an impact on my life. The influences that have stayed with me all my life. First and foremost God and my Lord Jesus Christ. There is always that small little voice inside me to tell me what I should do in life if I choose to listen. There is my mom whose voice I can still hear every day and I try to live a life that will not disrespect her memory.  My grandparents, though I only had them for a short time in my life left a tremendous impact. My older brother who showed me what a great man looks like and gave me a measuring stick. There were pastors to lean on along the way who always had an open ear and heart. They did not judge but offered Godly council. There was my best friend Gary Flood who showed me time and again what a real friend is. There is my dad who by all accounts is the first super hero I ever knew. He was tough as nails but knew how to be a father. He taught me about real love and how to give. There were cousins whom I shared my childhood with and now we share our adulthood good and bad. There were aunts and uncles who taught me life lessons and what it meant to work. Billy Burks I thank you for teaching me about hard work. That has stayed with me my whole life and I love you for it.
   I have faced loss and came out on the other side. I have learned how to move on and learn a new normal without those loved ones. I have seen one marriage dissolve into misery and learn to start over with my best friend. 
   In my short 50 years I have seen a lot and good Lord willing I will get to see more. I know that life is a continuous battle and all the lessons learned will be used to face future challenges. I also know the next 50 will pose different challenges. God Bless
Kenney Big Skinny Pope

One Week

Like a child waiting on Christmas here I am waiting. I'm waiting on the best present I could have asked for and its all wrapped up in you. Its just a mere week and its been 4 years in the making, my forever. So glad I found you and I can't tell you enough.
   As we sit in silence watching the Sunrise together just enjoying each other. I realize with every love song playing that these songs were wrote about us. Its a gift when you can take something broke and piece it back together. That's what you have done with my heart. I had all but given up on love but you showed me it would be better than just ok to try again.
In just a mere week a new chapter will begin for us as you will take my last name.  So many things were missing my first go round into marriage from the start.  I never had someone that wanted to be a part of everything in my life. I never had someone encourage me to follow my dreams. I never had someone completely believe in me.  You give me wings to fly.  You still believe in me when I come crashing to the ground.  Our relationship is built on mutual respect. Even though you will never be the one to put all of your thoughts into words I will never doubt how you feel. You show me many times daily your devotion and care.
  In a mere week we will see the sunsets differently, as one.  We will build our life together. We will experience tears of joy and laughter. We will be there for each other when times aren't so good. We will always have the other's back.  You are a force to be reckoned with If someone hurts a loved one. 
   What I am saying is in just a week I will be proud to be your man, protector and provider. You will always be loved. Thank you for taking a chance on me.
One week and I can't wait. 

Perfect World

While enjoying the weather last night, I told Cynthia it was perfect. I then asked her I wonder how many perfect weather days we have a year? Then I answered my own question. Its really a hard question to answer. Its subjective to what one considers perfect. What's perfect to me might not be to you. For example a 55 degree day with a light northwest breeze is my perfect day. One of those sweatshirt and jeans kind of day is my favorite kind of days. Maybe your perfect weather day is sunny and 85.
   The word perfect could literally have millions of meanings. That is where we are as a nation. Everyone has their own idea of what a perfect world would be. I believe that's why we are taught to share as a child. We are taught to compromise. We can't be selfish and think that it is only going to be perfect for us all the time. Now when I say compromise I'm not talking about your core beliefs. That includes morals and the things you were taught that make you a better person. What I'm talking about is meeting someone half way. Like maybe a sunny 70 degree day instead of 55. See we met in the middle somewhere and although it's not perfect to either one of us its a compromise we can both live with.
   Its not a perfect world we live in and its not ever going to be but some are so stuck seeing only their perfect way that they miss out on a lot of life. We sometimes need to think less of ourselves and think about what we can do to make it a more perfect world for others.  Sometimes we need to see things the way others do to understand where they are coming from. There are a long line of people in this world that were mistreated and have taught hate for generations because of injustices done against them. We can speak hate back at them but honestly if we just took a second and looked at the world through their eyes what would we see?  Are we doing all we can to make it a more perfect world for all or just ourselves. Truth is there is not one who couldn't do more. The world we are leaving for future generations is a scary thought.  Things going on I never thought I would see in my lifetime. Nearing 50 years of age I realize what I thought was a perfect world is not and never was. I was just seeing things through my eyes. 
    Look if it was all about me God would just make it 55 degrees every day but as you have noticed we have an abundance of someone's idea of a perfect day every day. Lets look beyond ourselves and make this a more perfect world.

Kenney Big Skinny Pope

Goodbye

It was a tough week for me as I had to say goodbye to a companion and friend. She was a bit temperamental and possessive but hey we all have our faults. She was full of love and in return she showed love until the end. Even though she was frail and was fighting to take a breath, the minute I walked into the door from work her ears perked as she tried to stand. I reached down and helped her to her feet and she stood as best she could. She was letting me know that she knew I was there. I knew she was in bad shape but did not know she would be gone in a few hours. My world revolved around that little furbaby. After my divorce she was all I had to remind me of my former life. 
    When I left for work while living with dad for a short while after my separation and divorce; she would howl because she did not like it when I left her alone. She had some form of separation anxiety I am guessing. I will say that it made her so happy to see me when I came home. In the last four years since me and Cynthia have been together, whenever we came home from being out it was always me she ran to. Her and Cynthia formed a bond even though they fought over space in the bed. Sugar always wanted to be next to me. She would work her way between me and Cee no matter where I sat her before I drifted off to sleep. I would wake in the morning and most morning she would be perched on Cynthia's pillow between us. I will not lie it was a point of contention between the two. I remember the conversations between the two still. He is my man Cee would say, of course it was one sided Sugar never said a word as Cee was speaking to her but I know she was thinking that I was her's first. She wasn't about to give me up.
   Sugar was my protector at a whopping 5 lbs. If she was sitting on my lap you didn't mess with me because she would attack. She was always on my lap. 
    I did my best to care for her in her latter years. Her sight was gone and she went deaf and she struggled to walk but she made her way around. I will admit I probably should have put her down a while back but I was selfish. I didn't want see her suffer and as best as I could tell she was still getting around okay until about a week ago. At 18 years of age she had a good long life. 
    RIp Sugar you were loved and you will be missed. My lap will be colder and I miss those playful conversations between you and Cee in the mornings. I especially miss the way you would totally ignore her as you had your little doggie butt on her head on her pillow as you snuggled up close to me every night. I will miss those morning doggie breath kisses as I picked you up off the bed so you could do your business. You were a little shivering ball of fur on winter mornings and got it done quickly.
    Love you little buddy

Here Comes Fall

There is just something about Fall time. Maybe its the chilly nights or the cool days. Maybe its just the relief from the heat. During the July months it seemed Fall would never get here. Just a distant dream. Now we stand on the precipice of our first Fall cold front. The long wait is about to be over for all of us lovers of Fall. 
   I love most everything that comes with this time of year. Lots of great memories growing up.  It would be the time of year we would start preparing for the winter. That involved chopping logs and kindling for the fireplace. We would make sure all the outdoor water faucets were insulated for the winter months. There would be raking the yard for leaves to compost in the garden for the next spring. The heavy blankets were brought out for the beds because we didn't have central heat or air. We just had a few gas heaters spread throughout the house.
    There were football Sundays for the 5 guys in my house growing up. We would sit and spend an afternoon watching our Cowboys. Sometimes we would be at our high school football field with a group  of friends making like we were the all pro players, at least that's how I saw it. I loved hanging out with my older brothers.
     The fall brought Thanksgiving celebrations growing up that are hard to replicate. There was love and you could feel it. Our extended family was together and in a word, it was greatness. The food, and there was a lot of it was spread out over lunch and dinner. There was laughter and joy. Lots of great memories.
    As I have gotten older I have made lots of great Fall memories. Working in a pumpkin patch, lots of high school football games and trips to the state fair. In a little over a month we will prepare for another Thankgiving. We will all get together to give thanks for blessings from the past year and there was a lot to be thankful for.  Right now for instance I'm am so thankful summer is behind us. Enjoy the changing of the leaves, the weather and this time of year. PS make a great memory by getting out to The Texas State Fair.
 

All We Need Is Love

The Beatles had that right. All we need is love. Love will go a long way in correcting what is wrong with our society. Sometimes we get caught up with our own life we forget to show compassion for others. We are selfish to a point. I admit that because of the actions of a few panhandlers I rarely give to those asking for money on the street. I have to just ask myself what if that person were me? I don't know the circumstances that led them to where they are. I am guilty of judging and that is wrong. I even think to myself " Hey if you can stand there for hours on end, couldn't you find a job somewhere ? " Who am I to judge? The truth is if we saw Jesus Christ on a street corner he probably would resemble a lot of homeless people. He depended on others for sustaining him. He did not work a paying job. Those who refused to give to him missed out on a blessing.
     That is just one example of not loving one another.  We are living in a nation divided. There are the haves and the have nots. Look at our Presidential candidates. Both are wealthy with millions spent on campaigns. We have racial tension now in our country the likes not seen in decades. We have people protesting our National Anthem. We are celebrating 15 years since a horrible terrorist attack took thousands of lives.  Why can't we as a nation go back to that mindset on Sept 11? We came together as a nation. Churches were full and prayers were sent up coast to coast. There was love amongst every race. There was no judgment amongst us. We were just concerned how to take care of our nation. We have lost our way. We need to stop wagging our finger at one another. There is racism all around us from every race. There is criticism and judgment coming from all sides. Who are we to judge anybody. I was taught in God's eyes sin is sin. We were all born into it. No one is perfect. We want to put labels on it and say this sin is worse than that one.  We are all guilty.  That's a pretty unpopular belief and I'm sure I will take some grief over it but that's cool.
   The point is this we need to love more and judge less. We need to put  God back to first into our country.
   All we need is Love.
My hats off to those who lost their lives
On 9/11/01
 
  
  

I Promise

I sit tonight and think as the big day approaches. We've both been down this road before but its different this time. We both have come out of 20 year plus marriages so we know what to expect. We both know what we want and what we don't. We have been together 4 years so there are no surprises. That being said I still feel the need to say this.
I promise to put you second only to God. I honestly believe you are the gift God has sent me. After our first go round with marriage we could have both been turned off by the thought of committing to another human being. I will not take lightly that you believed in me enough to give me your heart.
   I promise I will be with you for as long as the Good Lord gives me.  I have never had a another person love me like you do. Therefore I choose to stay. You have my heart.
    I promise to always take interest in the things that interest you even if it means watching a thousand hours of Harry Potter or getting all geeked out to go to some Harry Potter resort for vacation.  I want you to know that first its not all about me. Second your likes and dislikes are important to me.
   I promise to spend as much time doing things together as possible. Even if it's just sitting on the patio watching a sunset.
   I promise to protect you. I want you to always feel safe. I want to be your protector your muscle. I will always have your back unconditionally.
  I promise I will be your sounding board when you have had a rough day and accept I can't fix everything. Sometimes you just need an ear and a shoulder.
   I promise that I will be here through good and bad. I will be your constant. I want to be the one who wipes the tears from your eyes or hear your laughter.
  I promise I will always provide for you to the best of my ability. We will work together to build not just a house but a home. I will support your family to the best of my ability whether it be financially or emotionally.
   I promise to always try to make you laugh. Your laughter brightens my day.
    I can't wait to grow old with you and show you I am a man of my word. Words are cheap but actions say it all I promise.
   

Music and Memories

There is probably nothing save Cynthia that I am more passionate about than music. Cooking would be a close third I am guessing. Music however has always been a big part of my life. I guess it started like everyone else. Church hymns and being a part of the choir. Before that was music class in Elementary School. At that age I did not get how powerful it was. It was a living breathing thing and very powerful. I had the privilege of having two older brothers who had some influence on the music I was exposed to as well as my mother who had an eclectic taste in music. My dad was not really into the whole music thing at the time. I think over the years he has come around a bit. Who can live without music in the life for goodness sake? Whether you like it or not you are exposed to it. Whether you know it or not it is powerful. It can evoke emotions and memories. What else can take you back and even bring you to tears? What other way was there to express to your significant other how you felt than a mix tape. You remember the mix tape. A collection of power ballads that said all you couldn't.  You can even recall certain events and times in your life by just hearing a song. Music is always present except maybe birth at all of our special occasions.
    I remember as a young preteen discovering my musical taste. I remember my first album bought. It was "Some Things Don't Come Easy" by England Dan and John Ford Coley. I still love that album. I still have it and its well worn with all of the crackle and hiss. One of the coolest things I got to do in radio was interview John Ford Coley. I explained to him that he had an impact on my life because of his music. He was an awesome interview and a really cool dude. As we were talking off air prepping for the next segment after the commercial break. We were talking about the record and I told him about one of my favorite tracks on it and he said that he hated the song. Not in a mean way he just thought it was too simple. That was cool I learned then and there just because it is on a record it doesn't mean the artist loves it.
   A lot of the artist that I listened to growing up I had the opportunity to sit and talk to them one on one. I especially was intrigued by the ones that wrote their own music. You could feel the excitement in their voice as they explained how a song came to be. After that you listen to a song with more appreciation for understanding where it came from.
     As a teenager I never thought as I was listening to these artists on American Top 40 with Casey Kasem, that I would be conversing with them.  Its funny how life turns out. That is the power of music. It takes you to places you never thought you would go. It takes you back to your childhood. I remember breaking up with my first serious girlfriend and hearing a song on the radio. A light came on and I thought to myself I get it, I understand it.  Music can make you remember people and places and in your mind its so vivid. You could almost touch it. That is why music is so powerful. It can help you remember or forget. It can comfort or evoke pain.  But most of all it can put a smile on your face as you find yourself drifting to a time far away thinking about some of the greatest memories of your life.

A Little Imagination

How many can remember going outside as a child and playing. Can you remember how much imagination and creativity we could come up with. We would look around and use whatever was available in the yard to play whatever game we could come up with. If we wanted to play war we could venture over the neighbors fence into his huge garden for dirt clods. These were clumps of mud that had dried into nice little grenade pellets that would explode on impact. They were soft so they did not hurt when you were hit with them. They were far superior to the clay clods in my dad's garden. Those would not disintegrate on impact and were quite painful when hit by one. Lots of trial and error in the war games. Nothing would bring the game to a close quicker than someone running into the house crying to mom. That would get us all in trouble for throwing dirt clods. As long as no one got hurt the war games went on unnoticed by mama. If she happened to stick her head out the back screen door to check up on her little angels she saw us scramble to get into freeze tag mode. A harmless playground game. We were sneaky little devils.
   Maybe sometimes we wanted to play like we were on a Sunday drive. We would assemble a makeshift car out of scrap junk my dad collected. If we needed a steering wheel my dad had an old cast iron hand plow with what looked like a bicycle rim on it. If you turned it upside down using the free spinning rim you could imagine a steering wheel. 
   One of my favorite shows on air at the time was C.H.I.P.S . It was a show about two California Highway Patrol Officers on motorcycles. We would rummage through dad's truck find a couple of hard hats and hop on our bicycles and voila we were Jon Baker and Ponch.  Very imaginative if I don't say say myself. As a side note, if you turned the helmet around to where bill was in the back you could be Gage and Desoto from another one of my favorite shows Emergency. That was a show about two Los Angeles Paramedic/firefighters.
  We played hide-go-seek and the like but my favorite times was going out in the field next door to play football with oldest brother. I would imagine I was a star receiver running a pass route as he hurled the football 60 yards. He had an arm.
   Cynthia tells me stories of her childhood as well and apparently they were very imaginative as well. They would use sticks as guns and they had sound effects. I do kid her occasionally about the stick thing. Sometimes today we go out and play fetch with the dog and I tell the dog to go get the gun. Its not a gun until she makes the sound effect. I just see it as a stick. With the sound effect its like a light comes on and I finally get it.
   Then there were the ramps made to emulate our hero Evel Kneivel. Bricks, cinder blocks and plywood make a deadly ramp. Crashes were not uncommon and bumps and bruises were not abnormal.  Mama learned not to ask what we were doing. I don't remember any serious injuries just Kids using the imagination God gave us.
    I believe that imagination has served me well over the years. It has made me to often look outside the box at what could be. Sometimes life gives us a pile of junk or random objects to get around. If you step back and think about it maybe you could use it to take your own Sunday drive. 

The One I Never Thought I'd Find

You never know when inspiration will strike. On my way home the other day I'm listening to the radio. Its a song I've heard hundreds of times in my life. I own a copy of it so I've heard it many times. I've always really liked it. Johnny Rivers "Slow Dancing" is the song. I heard the line, "The one I never thought I'd find" and it got me to thinking. With my wedding coming up how fortunate I am.
   Everyone looks for that special someone. Sometimes the search takes awhile. We start out dating slowly weeding out those who don't measure up to what we are looking for. There is some heartbreak along the way because you lost what you thought at the time was the one. At the time you don't know how your world will turn after such a heartbreak. We know it does eventually. Maybe you marry who you thought was the one only to find out years later that you wasted a lot of years. The point is that it can be a very time consuming search. I have always wondered how do you know they are the one? There is no bell that goes off no alarm that tells you to stop looking.  Truth is you just know. Let me just say from experience, its a lot easier to know you've found the right one when you have experienced the opposite.  Let me also say this, never settle because you don't think you can do better or because you are tired of the search. 
   When I separated from my ex wife and eventually divorced, I was scared because I had no inkling what the future held. I dated a few women but did not really find what I was looking for. Match.com is a great tool. I say that only because that is where me and Cee met. She indicated she was interested by winking at me. I contacted her and we had our first meeting. It was a low key mid morning mid week meeting at Barnes and Noble.  When she pulled up she watched me for a few minutes as I was helping a stranded damsel jumpstart her car. That was a good sign to her that I would help someone in need. That first meeting was great. She was bubbly and talkative. We had a lot in common. We talked for a couple of hours and neither knew where it would lead if anywhere. Fast forward a couple of weeks on my Birthday we had our first date. I was emceeing a concert and she was watching me work. Being in radio at the time it was like that a lot in the beginning. I loved that she wanted to be where I was and she still does.
   We are on the same wavelength most of the time. We love the same music, activities and food. We never fight. We have disagreements but we don't fight. We both come from 20 plus years of marriage so we know what we want. 
I love her and can't imagine my life without her. That's how you know you found the one. Don't get me wrong its still work it is 100-100% all the time. But I have always felt if you love it, it ain't work.
   If you are going through a divorce don't despair there are still some good ones out there but you will have to draft from the second round. I found the best one.
     Happy dating and God Bless all of those who found the one they never thought they'd find.

The Weekend

As I stir from a peaceful sleep this Sunday morning, I glance at my watch it's 7:05. My first thought is one of panic. I am late for work......no wait it's Sunday a day off. I am sure we have all had that moment of panic. That just means we were sleeping so sound that it took a few seconds for our minds to reboot. That's exactly what weekends are for. Its a time to recharge physically and a time to make memories. Sometimes it means recharging spiritually sitting in a church pew on Sunday just to thank God for getting you through said week. Maybe even praying for patience to get through the next one.   We spend the whole week putting a weekend plan together.  Sometimes it's months of preparation to make the weekend special.
    No matter how much you love your job, you still love the little mini vacation each week brings. It is like a little reward for working hard. The weekends are tailored or custom fit for the time of the year we happen to be in. Weekends at the lake in the Summer or hunting trips in the winter we make it work every weekend.
  As a child we took those 2 days for granted especially in the Summer when we had 7 days a week to do nothing. These days find us making plans with family or catching up with friends. 2 days is never enough time to do that. I have also come to realize it doesn't matter how long or how much time you have off you still come back tired and ready for the next one. Time to start on the plans for next weekend. Its a never ending cycle. Then there is the lazy weekend binge watching Netflix. I love those weekends but for some reason feel guilty for not doing more around the house.
Some weekends are yard work and house cleaning and some are just spontaneous. No plans just whatever happens we will roll with it.  I don't know about you but having that special someone in your life make each weekend planned or unplanned 2 days of greatness. It gives us opportunity to express our love in thoughtful gestures such as going to dinner or just being together that  the weekly job's time constraints make it hard to do. 
  Whatever your passion is enjoy it. Mine is football and it will soon be upon us.
Fall time football weekends I can't wait.
As you are planning that weekend keep one thing in mind.. ..Kenney loves BBQ too.  Have a great weekend and happy Monday......too much too soon? Sorry one day at a time. Happy weekend
  

What If

Yesterday while listening to the radio I heard a song that made me stop and think. The song was "One More Day" by Diamond Rio. If you have never heard the song stop reading and go to YouTube and pull up the video. This will give you an idea what i'm writing about. Its a beautifully written song. The song proposes a wish is granted that the person singing could have one more day with a lost loved one. Someone that has passed on to the afterlife.
    This got me to pondering. What if every five years you could bring one person back for a day. Who would you choose? Would you choose anyone? I got to thinking of all the loved ones I've lost throughout my life. Would it be my grandfather on my Dad's side who I never really got to know because I was so young when he passed. I could get to know a man that I've only heard stories about. I am sorry I never got to know him and it would be cool to meet him. I have only a few of these wishes throughout my lifetime how high up on the list is my granddad whom I've never known?  Would it be either of my grandmothers ? Most definitely  I would love to sit and talk with them for hours. I could let them know their diciplining was not in vain and I turned out ok. I could let them know that they influenced my life and that I would not be who I am without them and their memories in my life. Would it be my older brother who I did not get to grow old with? He was only 25 and had so much life left. I would love for him to meet Cynthia. I would love to wrestle with him one more time. I think I could take him this time maybe. I would talk music and football.  That was two of his greatest loves as well. My mother would be number one on the wish list. Man I miss her so much every day. I just want her to know I'm ok.  I would have to break out the Barry Mannilow  collection and dust it off.  Just to sit and rewind, go back in time and visit the past. The truth is there are so many to bring back for a day it would be hard to choose. 
     Then we are faced with the dilemma of saying goodbye again. Ripping open that old wound and sorrow and grief of losing them the first time.  It's missing them even more all over again. Would it be worth it?. I'm sure most of us would say yes, it  would definitely be worth the suffering we would endure. One day would never be enough.
   The one question that would have to be answered is what does the afterlife hold for us? Wouldn't that take a little fear out of death if we knew what was waiting for us on the other side.
   I know this what if is just a dream but that is what all what ifs are.  I can take comfort and peace in knowing each of these lost loved ones, the ones mentioned and those that are not, are a part of my life every day. Those memories are all I have. I can take a few minutes every day and let my mind drift back to those days when they were were all in my life.  That is all have.  We keep moving on because life doesn't stop.  We just have to live our lives in way that someone would give up a wish to bring you back for a day.
  Kenney Big Skinny Pope

Itsy Bitsy Spider

On my way work one day this week, I climbed into my truck preparing to back out of the driveway. As I checked my side mirrors I noticed a little spider on the passenger side mirror trying desperately to climb off. For anyone that knows me well, there are three things I don't interact with. I do not like Spiders, snakes or mice/ rats. This spider being one of the three was on his or her own in finding a way off the truck. I figured if it didn't make its way down, once I reached cruising speed of 70 mph it would fly like it never had before. Maybe in its last seconds on earth it would be an adrenaline rush. The last few seconds just flying at what must be like the speed for a little spider. Maybe in some way I was helping the spider fulfill something on its bucket list. I'm not real sure how Spiders think but it could have been a possibility.  So now I am cruising through a neighborhood at 35 mph.  This spider is a trooper. He or she is under duress as the wind force is shaking as it scurries trying to find safety. I am thinking little spider you ain't seen nothing yet. We are fixing to hit the highway and you will be airborne in just a few. I hope you brought a helmet. So as we hit the highway the spider crawls up to the plastic housing surrounding the mirror. It's in a place where there is virtually no wind force to blow it down the road. That spider rode from the Westside of Fort Worth to South Dallas. This is about a 45 minute trip. Kudos spider I have driven you farther than you could walk in a lifetime. When I got out of the truck I left the spider right where he was because in a weird way he or she earned my respect. Now comes the hard part of readjusting to a new way of life for this spider. It in an unfamiliar place with new obstacles to conquer.
      As I got to thinking about this very minor event for me but probably momentous for this spider this thought came to me. Isn't life for us a lot like this spider's crazy ride? We are traveling down life's highway at what seems like breakneck speed with no idea where we are headed. Like this little spider we have traveled so far that we could not get back to where we were if we had three lifetimes. Every day is an exercise in overcoming new obstacles. Many of these said obstacles are things that we arbitrarily place in our path throughout our years of travel. We do this because we think that we will never have to go over the obstacle, but there it is waiting on us. Some of the obstacles we face are from situations arising in which we have no control.  Most animals are created with the basic instinct of survival. This means they don't concern themselves with the past they are constantly looking forward. The spider wasn't concerned about getting back to where it was it was only concerned about moving forward in survival mode. We can't concern ourselves with looking back at yesterday or 20 years ago trying to change the past or regretting past mistakes. We can learn from them, making our future a better place to be in.  Just like the spider had no say in where he was going, we living life experience the same daily. We might not know exactly where life is going to take because there are so many unplanned or predicted twists and turns. We can make the most of where we are. We can climb down off of the mirror and clean out our 8 legged pair of pants because sometimes life is scary and at times its a harrowing ride. Then once again there are those simple moments when you feel the love of friends and family and thank God for giving you another day. Those exhilarating days are what makes life worth pushing on down the road for another mile or two.
   The truth is that spider could have bailed anytime but chose not to. Jumping from the truck at that speed would have been certain death. It chose to hang on and see where the ride was taking it.  The spider's family and friends were a memory and now the spider moves on to the big city. Brighter days hopefully with new opportunities and memories.  Maybe and more than likely this spider had no idea what transpired a few days ago. There is a slim chance it used its little spider Mobile phone and called it's friends and family and said I am finally taking that trip I talked about to find myself.  It never takes long to find yourself in Dallas and it might be ready to come home soon. If you find yourself in Dallas and see a spider with eight thumbs up in the wind trying to hitch a ride back to Fort Worth pull over and give him or her a mirror to ride back on.
  Enjoy the ride.
Kenney"Bigskinny Pope"
7/16/2016

4th of July

Another family barbecue-get together another hot summer day.  Another dip in the pool to cool off, yes you guessed it, another 4th of July celebration. its one of those times of the year  we all get together. It's a time of memory making. It's a time of reflecting and celebrating our freedoms. For some it may be just a day off but for others it's a reminder of those who fought to give us our way of life. Even today as we are celebrating there will be some there with us who gave up a part of their life to make sure you could do what you are doing today. There is not one of us who have never experienced going through a war could imagine the mental anguish. That is something our Veterans experience on a daily basis. Some have learned how to cope but they never forget. Some never quite get there. Society and our Government forgot them. You can find these lost souls living on the streets or in homeless shelters. They deserve so much more than they have been given. What a price was paid for our right to worship how we see fit. What a price paid to just live our lives on a daily basis freely.  It's possibly one of two days a year they even come to mind. I know I take my freedom for granted, how could I not? It's all I've ever known. These days the fight is on our soils.  Wars and battles still rage. We hear about it almost every day. We now more than ever depend on our Veterans to protect our homeland from those who wish to do us harm. The 4th of July is more than a pool party or some dogs and burgers on the grill. It's a time to stand by our military and support them. It's a time we fight the government so that our vets get the heathcare  they deserve. It's a time to be there for a family member who has served and is having a hard time readjusting. It's a time to give back to those who never thought twice about giving it all if it came down to it. It's a time to listen and learn and to care about more than ourselves. Honestly if it weren't for our soldiers what kind of life would we have to celebrate. In the spirit of 1776, Happy 4th of July.

Taken For Granted

As I walked into the room I hit the light switch and slowly raised it to the on position.As the light filled the room and drove out the darkness, I realized that it was something taken for granted. I never gave it much thought before. I just turned on the switch and there it was, like it magically appeared. The only time I ever give it a second thought is when it doesn't come on. Then it's time to change the bulb or get an electrician out to fix the problem. I can relate to my truck in much the same way. As I start my trucks for my trip into work each morning I take it for granted that it will start. Maybe it's the trip into work itself, I think sometimes it's taken for granted that I will arrive safely.
     The reason I bring this up, is the health scare that shook my family last weekend.  My older brother experienced a stroke and for a day or so we were all  dangling in the wind. We were all worried and still  are as he is recovering.  He's made a remarkable recovery but has a ways to go to get back to 100 percent.  He's only 5 years older than me that's way too young for a stroke.
    The truth of the matter is this. We take our health for granted.  We get up and function the best we can all the while ignoring the warning signs. Maybe the light bulb flickers an hour or two before it finally goes poof as you turn it on and it's blown. I can't say because I've never paid any attention to it.  I've pretty much ignored the light except  when I've had to change the bulb.  We pretty much treat our bodies the same way. They are ignored until there is a problem. Then we want to fix it.  I will admit this is more of a guy issue.  I am the worst. I love to eat and not always healthy. I love bread, sweets and all things bad for me. Even though I know it's bad for me it doesn't change anything. Don't fix what ain't broken. The truth is unless we are getting regular check ups we don't have a clue what's broken. My brother found out some things that were in need of fixing. We are fortunate he had the chance to get them fixed. It could have been much worse.  Look as we get older and we get more worn parts on us let's make it a habit to do the occasional checkup so we at least have a fighting chance. Life is precious  and should never be taken for granted.

Then They Grow Up

I am finding it more important as Cynthia's girls get older that we spend more time together.  There will come a day in the next few years when they will get busy with their own lives and it's going to be much harder to bring everyone together for a night out. These are what I call memory making times.  Hey it may cost a few bucks to plan an outing but it's so worth it and those memories last a lifetime. I'm lucky to have had the opportunity to have a part in raising three amazing girls. Angelah, Kathryn and Jamey, thanks for all the great memories. I'm glad I was able to be there
   I look back at my own childhood and young adult days. The times as a family where we would go out.  First off my mom deserved a night out away from preparing a meal and her daily routine.  She was a stay at home mom and she raised 6 of us.  Some Saturdays we would go roller skating and those were some great nights. Let me tell you my mom could skate. My dad would put on a pair of skates and meander around the rink but you could tell he wasn't comfortable.  He was not really in his element.  Looking back I realize that was all part of being a dad. That's what dad's do. They put their kids first. They don't brag about it, they don't seek recognition for it they just do it.  They sometimes for lack of better words " make a fool of themselves to ensure that their kids have the things they didn't.  My dad's childhood was not about having fun it was about working to help support the family.  I really believe those nights were just as special for him too. 
      Let me just say that we as fathers are missing out on a lot of life's great moments when choose other things over our children.  They pick up on what's important to you.  For some it may be that money rules their lives. For others it may be drugs or alcohol. Whatever it is, your children see it.  You are by all means their example. Don't belittle or criticize when they become just like you. (Cat's in the Cradle) listen to that song and this all makes sense. 
   The funny thing, it doesn't have to cost money to be there for your children, you just have to be there.  If you aren't there to shape and mold them into great people, someone else will.  Some messed up guy is looking to help your girl with Daddy issues.  Some one else will get to play catch with your son.  Some other guy gets to come in the picture and be all the things you won't be and be the hero. That , my uninvolved father is on you and only you.  
      We have to figure out priorities and see if it worth depriving children of father time.  Working to make sure your family is taken care of is acceptable but when it takes you away every second of the day, we might need to ask ourselves," How much do we really need?"  If money is your thing just know this, you can't buy their love.  They may enjoy the material things for a while but it's an empty gesture. In the end they just want what all their friends have. A dad that will consistently sacrifice to spend time with them. A dad that would give his life for his children.  If that's not you in my opinion you are just a man not worthy of being called dad.
Many know that I'm adopted by my uncle, who is and will always be my dad.  He is my example of what a dad should be.  He raised three children of his own and well as three adopted. What a sacrifice to make. What a huge financial burden.  Giving of himself to teach and to show us what a dad should be. I'm eternally grateful and blessed.
   They grow up and then it's too late. Capture the moments while you can. It only last a little while.
God Bless
Kenney Bigskinny" Pope.

Rumble Strip

The open road and smooth sailing, a road trip is one of life's greatest adventures. You set out fiil the car and you are on your way.  No traffic just you and the call of the road.  Somewhere along the way something grabs your attention and you veer towards the shoulder. You feel the tires rolling over what is designed to make you realize you are not where you need to be and you need to get back between the lines.  The rumble strip has woke you up. It did its job and you are now heading safely down the road.
    Life in general is a lot like that. We sail along smoothly all is good.  That's when it happens. We loose focus and we are suddenly on the shoulder.  Then we feel the rumble strip our wake up call.  Something that totally knocks you out of your complacency.  Something that makes you realize that life can change on a dime. The Rumble Strip comes in many forms.  Loss of a job, financial troubles, a death, terminal disease are just a few that come to mind. These will cause you to stop down and question your values, your dreams, your own mortality and the life you lived in general. They will make you ask yourself what is important? What is first in my life. Is it money, fame, family, career. It will make you question life's choices.  Sometimes God sees fit to allow us to experience one of life's rumble strip.  It's his way of pointing us in a direction where we need to make changes that not only benefit us but everyone around us.  I've experienced one or two in my lifetime. At the age of 17, I lost my oldest brother at the young age of 25.  That altered my thinking, being seventeen, I was imortal I have lots of time left.  That served to show me life is second by second with no guarantees.  The loss of my mother was another rumble strip. Not the death itself, which was hard. What came to me is all of the things we spend a lifetime accumulating is all in vain.  Yes it brings us joy at the time but you take none of it with you. My mom spent a lot of year accumulating Knick knacks. There were drawers full of things that would never be seen.  There was simply no room for them.  My divorce yet another rumble strip. While there was some good that came from my marriage, my three daughters, it caused me to step back and examine life's choices and determine I will never settle for less than what is best for me. 
    The truth is life is full of bumps in the road.  The rumble strip is not designed to bring you to a grinding halt. It only serves to allow you to make corrections to put you back where you need to be. On life's highway. Happy driving fellow drivers. Watch out for potholes but that's a blog for another day. 

The Price of Getting Older

All my life I've been told wisdom comes with age. While there some truth to that, I think we get a lot more than we expected. As a child we couldn't wait to get older because with age came more freedom. As I get older though I realize there is a price to pay for that freedom.
    I know you are scratching your head and wondering what I am talking about.  Hang with me and I will explain.  As a child we have a world around us. It's a familiar world with familiar faces and places. It's filled with childhood heroes and legends.  We don't think about it because it's always been there. It's all we've ever known. It is after all our world. It should be full of good times friends and laughter. Full of music and memorable moments.  There is a solid wall around you and you feel safe.  You have a family network full of loved ones and life is good.  Then it starts.
   Maybe its a grandparent or a great aunt or uncle. You feel loss for the first time. A brick in your once  solid wall has been removed and life changes.  You are still a child so you don't fully grasp the situation.  After a few years of not seeing that loved one it becomes the new normal.  Yes it hurts but you rationalize that they were old and had a good life.  As you get older and those losses become more frequent, you start thinking about how young they were and they were taken before their time. The losses are getting closer and your once solid wall is looking like a game of Jenga about to crumble.  I look at my own father who will be eighty this year. He came from a large family 11 or 12 siblings. One by one they have all passed except him and his youngest sister.  He has lost his wife, mother, father, cousins and just about everyone he grew up with.  
    We watch as our childhood legends and heroes pass away. Although their shows and music live on, these were people that were always there your whole life.  Our world is constantly changing.  I think about the loss of my mother or Cynthia's dad. How do you deal with a loss that big in your life. The very people who have shaped your life from its very beginning now gone? Yet we have to move on with a piece of our world gone forever.  Some don't like change, we've seen a lot in our lifetime. Things we knew as a child are now extinct. Some changes are good, technology and such. Some are slow to adapt or not adapt at all.  Some changes are forced on you and you have no choice to adapt. We as a human race are great at adapting and moving forward. We don't embrace our new normal we just accept it and wait for the next change.
  Every day I think to myself if only Mama was still here or just one more game of Dominoes with Aunt Iseta or another backyard football game with my big brother Scooter. So many parts of my world are missing.  It's not to be you see because every day is an adjustment to the new normal.  I don't like having to say goodbye to parts of my world.  But that's the price of growing older. 
  If i could offer any advice it would be this. Don't rush it because it's so not worth what you trade to be another year older. Cherish those those that compete your world. We will never be able to go back and enjoy life as it was.  Today is the new normal.

RIP to the bricks in my wall lost this year. 
Kenney Pope
2016
Kenneypope1984@gmail. com

The Traveler

I am always up for a road trip. The stops along the way, discovering new places and experiencing new things. You plan everything out and jump into the car and off you go.  Sometimes along the way the plans fly out the window and you just wing it. If you see something interesting you just go for it.
  Life is a lot like that. Every day we are geared up for a trip. The only difference is, we never know where it will take us. Sometimes it takes us to places of indescribable highs and some days we are met with unexpected lows.  We just hope that along the way it balances out. 
    We are passengers and pretty much at the mercy of whatever road is in front of us at any given moment. The road is constantly changing. Unlike our planned road trip there is no set path. Sometimes the road changes on a dime. What was once clear sailing just a moment ago is now full of roadblocks. Then on the other hand the road that looked impassable yesterday is suddenly open. The things that seemed impossible yesterday, for some unknown reason we have acquired a second wind and that impossible hurdle or task is not only possible it is now in your rearview mirror.  That serves to give you confidence. You can put your foot on the gas and move ahead. 
    What makes our journey so great is the people on the trip with you.  No matter where you are going they are there along for the ride.  That being said choose your fellow passengers carefully. You don't want the backseat driver always telling the driver just where to go and how to get there. You don't want to have the passenger that has to stop every 5 minutes. Life waits on no one.  You don't want the complainer life is too short. You will meet some on the road who are worthwhile and they will climb in and ride awhile some will stay for the whole trip. Once again this is amazing because no one knows where we are going. Just know for future reference the trip will sometimes have tears, laughter and everything in between.  Cherish the passengers who are there for the rough road as well as the smooth sailing.
   Life is a journey but not one made up of miles but rather of minutes. Enjoy the trip but most of all Godspeed. 

A Time of Reflection

Sitting here this morning thinking about life and feeling philosophical. Thinking about all of the great people in my life that were lost last year. I'm feeling selfish and wishing they were all here. I know that they are in a better place.  That being said I'm wondering what impact I've made on all of the people in my life. Have I made as difference. I would like to think so.  I would like to think when people reflect back over my life that I've made them laugh or smile and forget life for a little while. I think that should be what we all strive for. That should be our legacy.  Was your life better for knowing me?  We worry about getting ahead and the day to day. Everyone has complaints but the truth is no one wants to hear them.  Have you ever been around someone that complains all the time. Just a few hours around them and you are drained emotionally. They wake up complaining and go to bed the same way. You think to yourself surely they could find one thing to be thankful for.  Honestly, everyone of us  could fill a day with complaints and be miserable. What good does it do. Truthfully, a lot of our misery is our own doing. We could change a lot of our situation with better life choices. The old saying " Life is What you make it" holds a lot of truth. Yes I know we don't control everything. A lot of hardships are thrown on us and we are left to pick up the pieces. That's where a person who has an impact on your life comes into play. A person who is unselfish and puts others first.  To be there no matter the time of day. To put a smile on your face. To pray or just be a shoulder to lean on. It takes dedication.  That's the kind of people I want in my life.  That's the kind of man I want to be. That is one of the reasons my dad is such a great man. He is always there for others. You want a life that's fulfilling put others first. You will be blessed for it. You will leave a legacy that will live forever.  Look back in history and think about the people who made a difference and think about the qualities that set them apart. The truth is no one but friends and family may know you even existed. You may never be famous and that's OK.  When they reflect back on your life will they think about a tortured soul who was never happy or will they smile and think about the impact you had on their life. I choose the latter. It's not too late to start trying to make a difference today. It starts with thinking about others and putting yourself at the back of the line. Here is a tip don't do it for compliments and get discouraged because no one is noticing, someone is always watching and you are an example to someone. Before you know it you could be the next person who unknowingly starts a revolution.  Make a difference.
God Bless
Kenney " Big Skinny" Pope.

Replacement Parts

February 7th 2014 was a day of packing and getting ready for another weekend of cheer.  We were on our way to San Antonio. We would watch some of the competition and take in a little sight seeing. I had been in a while since I had been to San Antonio, so I was excited to see the River Walk and all that it had to offer. We got to the hotel and unpacked. Now to venture out and have some fun. I remember lots of walking and trying to find the area where the girls were practicing to get ready for Saturday.  They had spent all year  gearing up for this moment. When practice was over we decided to stroll the River Walk to find a place to eat. We all Made our way into the Joes Crab Shack and I remember laughing and having fun with the other parents. We finished up and walked to the hotel and called it a night. We made plans for the next day and fell asleep. Around 5:am Cynthia received a phone call and it woke us up. I could only hear her half of the conversation but I could tell it was one of those calls you hate to receive.  They had to rush her dad to the hospital and it wasn't looking good.  We needed to get back to Fort Worth asap.  We frantically packed up and told the girls to stay and compete for "WoWo" that's what they called their Grandfather. We made it back in 3.5 hours.  We were there for a short while when the family decided to let Tony go home. He passed quietly on February 8th 2014.  That was our last trip to San Antonio.
    This past weekend with yet another Cheer competition going on we decided to make another trip. The last trip 2 years ago, we felt was cursed and we needed to replace parts of it in our memory. We spent the last 2 years dreading a weekend getaway for fear of another catastrophy.  We packed up and left on Saturday and I will say that there was a sense of gloom in the beginning, but with every new memory made we slowly put that last trip in the rearview mirror.  By the end of the trip it was honestly one of the best weekends me and Cynthia have ever had.  We didn't erase that day its still there. What we can say now is this. The last time we were in San Antonio we had a blast. It was not marred by an earth shattering event.  We have to do that sometimes in life replace bad memories with good ones because life doesn't stop until ours is over. Don't be afraid to do something because  of something that happened in the past. Life is chock full of what ifs. Be willing to make new memories.  You will find that the replacement parts shine brighter than the faded broken memories. 

Be Careful

Anytime I leave the house I can always be assured I will hear "I love you" and "Be careful".  I realize it's not just something to say. It's heartfelt and Cynthia's way of saying please come to me safely.  She realizes and knows I do not have control over the people that choose to drive dangerously and are only thinking of themselves.  She wants me to be alert and drive carefully. 
    I am blessed that I have someone who wants me come home safely every night.  Someone who enjoys spending our nights together.  Our plan is to grow old together.  It's just her way of telling me she loves me and worries about my safety.  I don't ever want to take that for granted. 
   This is not something new I heard my mom tell my dad the same every morning as he was heading off to work.  She worried too about dad because she loved him.  It's not just in the mornings, it is anytime I leave to go anywhere.  There are no guarantees of our safety and the  truth is that we often assume or just flat take for granted arriving to our destination safely.
    Today is a simple thought.  Be thankful for the one who worries and thank God for safe travels. 
Whatever else you do please be careful.
Kenneypope1984@gmail.com
Kenney "Bigskinny" Pope

Confession

I am a little self centered. I think that's why I chased radio for so many years. The little recognition and spotlight fed my insecurities.  I wasn't popular in school so I thought that chasing that dream would make up for shortcomings. Somewhere along the way I determined my opinion was all that mattered.  I closed everything and everyone else out and for that I apologize.  I realize that everyone has opinions and think a certain way and that's ok.
    I don't have to always be right and that is fine.  Life as we know it consists of many people and many opinions.  The one person that I never want to shut out is my best friend. She has no problem accepting me for who I am. She knows my shortcomings and still loves me. I will say that amazes me.  She sees all my insecurities and does her best to show me every day I have everything I ever wanted and more.  She sees the glass half full and I'm the opposite.  I am always looking for the other shoe to drop. There is no doubt God sent her my way to provide a balance in my life which she does if I don't tune her out. I will admit I have to work on that.  I know that I could never find anything close to what she is to me.  I am learning its ok to disagree, its not a lack of love its just not  everyone grew up the same way and we all learned how to deal with life differently. Just because our parents didn't raise us the same doesn't make your way wrong.  It pays to listen and learn.  Sit on your tongue and listen to someone else's point of view. You might just find out their way is better.  Look I know my shortcomings will not be fixed overnight. It's a constant battle daily.  I won't make excuses I will just set forth daily to be the best version of me that I can.  That is my new year's resolution.  This is a truth, your best friend and mate should be able to talk freely to you about anything. That's what makes for a great relationship and a lifetime of happiness.  The fact is you can disagree and I can just say I respect and listen to your opinion. If you know me you will realize that in itself is a huge step in the right direction. Then there is the issue of patience. That is a blog for another day.
Kenneypope1984@gmail
Kenney"Big Skinny" Pope
PS I'm listening.

What If

There it was right in front of us, the biggest lottery jackpot in the history of the lottery. In an instant someone's life could change forever. Would you be ready for that change? So we all play the game of what if? We make plans as to what we could or would do if we won the money? Is it that we are unhappy with life as is. Would this sudden influx of wealth make you happier?
    Let's paint a picture of sudden wealth, friends, family and people you don't even know are  coming out of the woodworks with hard luck stories telling you why they need the money.  People you don't know are stalking you and breaking into your house or car to try and get to your money. Then comes the impossible task of investing your sudden wealth. What you once considered a good life before has suddenly turned upside down.  We all had good intentions of all the good we could do with that massive amount of  money. The truth is what we could or would do is now an unknown. We will never know.  I surely would have paid for an elaborate ,beautiful wedding with the winnings. Then what, give to charities and do some good, maybe set up family for life if they manage it well.  Then they are suddenly forced into the topsy turvy life of sudden wealth. 
   It would be great to come into some money but truthfully I'm good. I have a great job, I get to wake up share my life with my best friend every day.  I have what need and some wants as well. We aren't hurting financially so while it would be great to play the what if game its not really necessary. I'm sure if you thought about it you feel the same. I honestly believe the Good Lord gives you what you can handle and be responsible with.  I look at the wealthy in our society and not in all cases but a lot its those individuals being responsible enough with their wealth to provide us employment and an opportunity to provide for our families.  I will take what I have been given and do my best with it. I will leave the what ifs to someone else.  #bethankfulforwhatyouhave.

   

There is a World Going On Around Us

It's seems like it's an epidemic, it's part of our every day life.  Maybe you've noticed it too. Somehow we've become attached to our cell phones. You notice every where you go. In a crowded restaurant, a doctor's office, in the grocery store line, it's every where. Where once was conversation and interaction, people with their heads down staring at phone screens has taken its place.   We have found for some reason we need to be entertained constantly. There is apparently no need for meaningful conversation.  Nowadays most of our conversation comes from a text message.  Frankly it's sometimes hard to remember the days before we had it all in the palm of our hand.  Technology is great,  so much information at our fingertips.  Want to see a movie? Boom just like that showtimes.  Have a question? Google can most likely answer it. Hey I have won many a bet that way. It's instant gratification. Let's not get started on social media.  There is so much political propaganda being hurled at us daily. Where it once was a fun way to keep up with classmates, friends and family, it has become a minefield of news stories and political opinions.   You can spend 5 minutes on social media and be irate and depressed.  While I do think it's a great platform to get some important issues and alerts out there, I believe more and more it's becoming a way to spread hatred and intolerance.  Meanwhile we are missing out on a world going on around us.
   It's prevalent in my life as well. We as a family have tried to set boundaries. We have instituted a 20.00 rule for dinner time. That is sacred family time. You pick up your phone and look at it during the meal it costs you 20 bucks. Dinner time is family bonding time period. Look I get it we all love to be entertained.  But if you are out with someone try conversation. You just might learn something about one another. Try putting your phone down for at least an hour a day and giving 100 percent of yourself to someone.  Enjoy an activity but most of all enjoy the world going on around you. Time is precious once spent you can't get it back. Those kiddos and grandkids will be grown before you know it.  Ps at least read this before you set it down 
Have a blessed and adventurous 2016
Kenney Big Skinny Pope.