Mama and Music

This morning marks another Mothers Day without my Mama. In a her memory I put on some Barry Manilow while I write this. She loved his music and that music fills my childhood memories.  Her music definitely has had an influence on me. She had a very eclectic taste when it came to music. She had a very diverse music collection. You would find everything from Rod Stewart to Slim Whitman.  As a sidenote not a fan of the latter at all. We as children would suffer through that artist many times during our childhood.  We were exposed to Elvis Presley which was also one of her favorites.  Christmas was not Christmas without "Blue Christmas" and it still isn't. Once again I was not the fan of Elvis but I never turn the dial when his songs come on the radio. Those songs are golden memory makers.
   My mom would turn the music on as she cleaned house. I'm guessing that's where I got that habit.  I will say that as much as I like Barry he does not inspire me to clean the house. 
    I remember a time when she went though an Ez listening phase. You know the music that is just that. The kind of stuff they piped through the speakers while you shopped. Like just an instrumental version of those artist she loved. I believe there was a station here in the DFW Metroplex that played that format. I seem to recall it being EZ 100 on the FM dial. Oh how I hated the station. Which is funny that some years later I find myself a fan of smooth jazz. Yet another influence of my mother.
   While some people are not a fan of music and may even laugh that I find myself listening to Barry Manilow on Mother's Day 2017.  Ask yourself about the crazy habits or quirks that were influenced by your mama. Oh believe me they are there. As for me other than God there is nothing as powerful as music. It can make you laugh, sing, cry and bring back memories long forgotten.  When memories are all you have left that's not a bad thing at all. So don't laugh too hard at me,  my mama is gone and all that is left is memories. Enjoy your Mother's hug and kiss your mama. Love her with all your heart. As for me well ...... Lola she was a show girl, gotta go "Copa Cabana" is playing. God bless.

Five More Minutes

Another Mother's day is quickly approaching. This day only serves as a reminder of the one person who had the greatest impact on my life is no longer with us.  Its coming up on Thirteen years since we lost my Mom. Mother's day was the last time we as a family got together. My dad saw fit to bring us kids together for mom. We spent that Sunday morning in church. That was where mom felt we needed to be every Sunday morning.  Her health quickly declined after that. Cancer has a way of stealing your life from you. By August she was gone. 
    The state she was in at the time of her death I did not get to say goodbye.  I did not get to tell her one last time I loved her. I did not get to tell her how much she would be missed.  Just 5 more minutes with her in a lucid state and I could have expressed those feelings to her, maybe. Maybe I would have been so emotionally distraught the words would not have came.  Whose to say what those 5 minutes would have consisted of. Knowing my mom always the teacher would not have let me speak. Maybe it would have been instructions on how to conduct myself.  Maybe it would have been to look after dad. Maybe it would be to tell us kids to always stay close as a family because we are all we have. I'm not sure but it would have been nice to have those few extra precious minutes. 
   I know I told her many times, too many to count how much I loved her. She knew without a doubt.  She told me as well. There is always regret that comes with death.  I should have and if only are always on the mind.  There is not a day that she doesn't come to mind. Whether its the fried egg and bologna sandwiches that were a summer time staple or a song on the radio. There is always something throughout the day that brings her to mind. How could it not? There is so much of her influence in my life. She did a great job molding my life.  One of my favorite go to lines is this. She did the very best with what she had to work with.  I'm not perfect but neither was she.  But she was and will always be my Mama
    I know you can hear me mama when I say to you today I love you and miss you.
5 more minutes seems like a short time but it can mean the world to someone.
Take time to hug your mom while you can.  No matter how much time you spend with her though, there will still come a time in your life when you will wish for 5 more minutes. 
  
    Below is the Last Picture of my Mom Mother's Day 2004

The Family Table

Isn't it funny how we put so much time into building the perfect living room. The big screen TV, the couch and love seat. The perfect place for family and friends. We spend countless hours a week there its our sanctuary from our day to day.
    To me its funny that when company arrives we always end up at the family table. Sometimes we break out a board game or dominoes. Sometimes its a cup of coffee with some memories thrown in.  Its not just my house where this happens. It seems this happens when we visit others. Whether it be my dad's house or my Mother in-law's house it seems that is where we gravitate to.
    I think that is because at one time in our now too busy society the family table held a place of reverence and signified family. It was welcome to all and signified coming together. 
   When I was growing up I remember the visit to my Aunt's and Uncle's houses. I remember those Saturday nights vividly. Occasionally it was a meal that brought us all together but more times than not it was all about being together.  The laughter and the conversations I can still hear today. As a child if you listened you got to know one another. It was an honor to sit around these great men and women's
tables. Those memories are all that are left of those men and women. Asking someone to sit at your table was not an empty gesture it meant something. You were considered family.
   It is something we do far less today. Always something more important. The TV show you can't miss or someone has plans away from the house.  We try to at least plan a couple of meals a week where everyone sits at the table. Those days there is no telling who may show up. That's fine we always cook more than enough. I feel myself listening more than talking because it gives me a chance to observe and learn, just like mama taught me when I was young. You will get your chance to speak I promise.
    Just a few thoughts about a piece of furniture that does not get near the respect it deserves. The family table. The word family says it all. Make time this week for family.

From There to Here

Do you ever step back and just say wow? How did I get to where I am in life? Do you think about the twists and turns that led you to this very minute in life? What a crazy ride it has been. The joys the heartache all led you to where you stand now. Lord knows our lives aren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But there are those moments when you feel truly blessed.
   Watching the sunset tonight I'll have to admit I feel blessed. I have a great job that allows me to provide for my family. I have a girl that not only is my wife but my best friend. We have a lot of the same interests and love spending time together.  We truly enjoy each other's company. Tonight she is at School tonight so its just me and the hounds tonight on the back patio. Its a bit lonely tonight on this beautiful evening. It allows me a little time to reflect. I say all that to say this" I truly do not know how my life got to this point." Truthfully I think I tried my best to sabotage my best efforts of making a good life. I was always good at making bad decisions and quick decisions without considering the outcome.
  I can only explain it by saying "divine intervention." What else could it be? I promise its not of my hands. I know when I try and take the wheel I wind up lost. I'm a male I don't take directions well. Its in our DNA. 
   I look back at my life and I swear its like a maze. I know that a different turn along the wayhere or there I would not be where I am. I still have a long way to go and with the Good Lord willing he will get me there. I have learned so many of life's lessons and I am sure there will be more along the way. I have made mistakes that I will not make again. I have learned how to love unsefishly. I have learned what its like to give your heart away and have someone give their heart back in return.  Life is not a straight path from there to here. Its the crooks and turns that build character along the way. Its the relationships with friends and family that make the journey worthwhile. I really don't know how I got here but I am enjoying the view.
Life is good
God Bless
Big Skinny

Making Memories

If we could describe our lives in two words, it would be making memories. Its the reason we do what we do. Family vacations, the big wedding, celebrations in general. When old friends get together to catch up with each other, conversations after catching up almost automatically veers towards the past and the memories we share. Oh the times we had back then. I can hear it now. Those great memories can move us to laughter or tears. Sometimes its all we have left of someone. I can drive by the lot where my grandmother's house once stood as a family landmark. The house is long gone but in my mind I remember every detail of that lot. I remember how the house stood there. I remember the smell inside. I remember the cane patch at the side of the house we were forbidden to go into. I also remember running through it many times and the spankings that ensued. I remember running around the shed and stepping on a 16 penny nail and it going all the way through my foot. Not a great memory but yet still a memory. Some memories are great and some leave scars.
   I love hearing my dad talk about his memories. He talks about his dad who I am too young to remember. Hearing him speak about his dad makes me feel closer to him. He talks about when he and my mom met. It seems like yesterday to him. Memories help us cope with life such as it is. It helps us deal with death when memiries are all we have left. 
   Here and now is only a moment and its gone. The true life's test is what kind of memories are you building along the way. Do we take time out for the big family outing or vacations. Man those times build lots of mental reels for the future. Those are times that spark great conversation and brings all involved smiles. Memories tie us all together no matter how far life causes us to drift apart. One of my fondest memories is a big family vacation in Colorado with my dad. Since that week several years ago we have all drifted in different directions but the memories of that trip still make us seem close.
  Life is all about making memories and its too short not to make some great ones. Every second of each day counts. Start adding to your mental reel collection daily.
God Bless
Big Skinny