Life as I See It

Life as I See It
Me and my beautiful wife to be, Cynthia

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Mama and Music

This morning marks another Mothers Day without my Mama. In a her memory I put on some Barry Manilow while I write this. She loved his music and that music fills my childhood memories.  Her music definitely has had an influence on me. She had a very eclectic taste when it came to music. She had a very diverse music collection. You would find everything from Rod Stewart to Slim Whitman.  As a sidenote not a fan of the latter at all. We as children would suffer through that artist many times during our childhood.  We were exposed to Elvis Presley which was also one of her favorites.  Christmas was not Christmas without "Blue Christmas" and it still isn't. Once again I was not the fan of Elvis but I never turn the dial when his songs come on the radio. Those songs are golden memory makers.
   My mom would turn the music on as she cleaned house. I'm guessing that's where I got that habit.  I will say that as much as I like Barry he does not inspire me to clean the house. 
    I remember a time when she went though an Ez listening phase. You know the music that is just that. The kind of stuff they piped through the speakers while you shopped. Like just an instrumental version of those artist she loved. I believe there was a station here in the DFW Metroplex that played that format. I seem to recall it being EZ 100 on the FM dial. Oh how I hated the station. Which is funny that some years later I find myself a fan of smooth jazz. Yet another influence of my mother.
   While some people are not a fan of music and may even laugh that I find myself listening to Barry Manilow on Mother's Day 2017.  Ask yourself about the crazy habits or quirks that were influenced by your mama. Oh believe me they are there. As for me other than God there is nothing as powerful as music. It can make you laugh, sing, cry and bring back memories long forgotten.  When memories are all you have left that's not a bad thing at all. So don't laugh too hard at me,  my mama is gone and all that is left is memories. Enjoy your Mother's hug and kiss your mama. Love her with all your heart. As for me well ...... Lola she was a show girl, gotta go "Copa Cabana" is playing. God bless.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Five More Minutes

Another Mother's day is quickly approaching. This day only serves as a reminder of the one person who had the greatest impact on my life is no longer with us.  Its coming up on Thirteen years since we lost my Mom. Mother's day was the last time we as a family got together. My dad saw fit to bring us kids together for mom. We spent that Sunday morning in church. That was where mom felt we needed to be every Sunday morning.  Her health quickly declined after that. Cancer has a way of stealing your life from you. By August she was gone. 
    The state she was in at the time of her death I did not get to say goodbye.  I did not get to tell her one last time I loved her. I did not get to tell her how much she would be missed.  Just 5 more minutes with her in a lucid state and I could have expressed those feelings to her, maybe. Maybe I would have been so emotionally distraught the words would not have came.  Whose to say what those 5 minutes would have consisted of. Knowing my mom always the teacher would not have let me speak. Maybe it would have been instructions on how to conduct myself.  Maybe it would have been to look after dad. Maybe it would be to tell us kids to always stay close as a family because we are all we have. I'm not sure but it would have been nice to have those few extra precious minutes. 
   I know I told her many times, too many to count how much I loved her. She knew without a doubt.  She told me as well. There is always regret that comes with death.  I should have and if only are always on the mind.  There is not a day that she doesn't come to mind. Whether its the fried egg and bologna sandwiches that were a summer time staple or a song on the radio. There is always something throughout the day that brings her to mind. How could it not? There is so much of her influence in my life. She did a great job molding my life.  One of my favorite go to lines is this. She did the very best with what she had to work with.  I'm not perfect but neither was she.  But she was and will always be my Mama
    I know you can hear me mama when I say to you today I love you and miss you.
5 more minutes seems like a short time but it can mean the world to someone.
Take time to hug your mom while you can.  No matter how much time you spend with her though, there will still come a time in your life when you will wish for 5 more minutes. 
  
    Below is the Last Picture of my Mom Mother's Day 2004