The One I Never Thought I'd Find

You never know when inspiration will strike. On my way home the other day I'm listening to the radio. Its a song I've heard hundreds of times in my life. I own a copy of it so I've heard it many times. I've always really liked it. Johnny Rivers "Slow Dancing" is the song. I heard the line, "The one I never thought I'd find" and it got me to thinking. With my wedding coming up how fortunate I am.
   Everyone looks for that special someone. Sometimes the search takes awhile. We start out dating slowly weeding out those who don't measure up to what we are looking for. There is some heartbreak along the way because you lost what you thought at the time was the one. At the time you don't know how your world will turn after such a heartbreak. We know it does eventually. Maybe you marry who you thought was the one only to find out years later that you wasted a lot of years. The point is that it can be a very time consuming search. I have always wondered how do you know they are the one? There is no bell that goes off no alarm that tells you to stop looking.  Truth is you just know. Let me just say from experience, its a lot easier to know you've found the right one when you have experienced the opposite.  Let me also say this, never settle because you don't think you can do better or because you are tired of the search. 
   When I separated from my ex wife and eventually divorced, I was scared because I had no inkling what the future held. I dated a few women but did not really find what I was looking for. Match.com is a great tool. I say that only because that is where me and Cee met. She indicated she was interested by winking at me. I contacted her and we had our first meeting. It was a low key mid morning mid week meeting at Barnes and Noble.  When she pulled up she watched me for a few minutes as I was helping a stranded damsel jumpstart her car. That was a good sign to her that I would help someone in need. That first meeting was great. She was bubbly and talkative. We had a lot in common. We talked for a couple of hours and neither knew where it would lead if anywhere. Fast forward a couple of weeks on my Birthday we had our first date. I was emceeing a concert and she was watching me work. Being in radio at the time it was like that a lot in the beginning. I loved that she wanted to be where I was and she still does.
   We are on the same wavelength most of the time. We love the same music, activities and food. We never fight. We have disagreements but we don't fight. We both come from 20 plus years of marriage so we know what we want. 
I love her and can't imagine my life without her. That's how you know you found the one. Don't get me wrong its still work it is 100-100% all the time. But I have always felt if you love it, it ain't work.
   If you are going through a divorce don't despair there are still some good ones out there but you will have to draft from the second round. I found the best one.
     Happy dating and God Bless all of those who found the one they never thought they'd find.

The Weekend

As I stir from a peaceful sleep this Sunday morning, I glance at my watch it's 7:05. My first thought is one of panic. I am late for work......no wait it's Sunday a day off. I am sure we have all had that moment of panic. That just means we were sleeping so sound that it took a few seconds for our minds to reboot. That's exactly what weekends are for. Its a time to recharge physically and a time to make memories. Sometimes it means recharging spiritually sitting in a church pew on Sunday just to thank God for getting you through said week. Maybe even praying for patience to get through the next one.   We spend the whole week putting a weekend plan together.  Sometimes it's months of preparation to make the weekend special.
    No matter how much you love your job, you still love the little mini vacation each week brings. It is like a little reward for working hard. The weekends are tailored or custom fit for the time of the year we happen to be in. Weekends at the lake in the Summer or hunting trips in the winter we make it work every weekend.
  As a child we took those 2 days for granted especially in the Summer when we had 7 days a week to do nothing. These days find us making plans with family or catching up with friends. 2 days is never enough time to do that. I have also come to realize it doesn't matter how long or how much time you have off you still come back tired and ready for the next one. Time to start on the plans for next weekend. Its a never ending cycle. Then there is the lazy weekend binge watching Netflix. I love those weekends but for some reason feel guilty for not doing more around the house.
Some weekends are yard work and house cleaning and some are just spontaneous. No plans just whatever happens we will roll with it.  I don't know about you but having that special someone in your life make each weekend planned or unplanned 2 days of greatness. It gives us opportunity to express our love in thoughtful gestures such as going to dinner or just being together that  the weekly job's time constraints make it hard to do. 
  Whatever your passion is enjoy it. Mine is football and it will soon be upon us.
Fall time football weekends I can't wait.
As you are planning that weekend keep one thing in mind.. ..Kenney loves BBQ too.  Have a great weekend and happy Monday......too much too soon? Sorry one day at a time. Happy weekend
  

What If

Yesterday while listening to the radio I heard a song that made me stop and think. The song was "One More Day" by Diamond Rio. If you have never heard the song stop reading and go to YouTube and pull up the video. This will give you an idea what i'm writing about. Its a beautifully written song. The song proposes a wish is granted that the person singing could have one more day with a lost loved one. Someone that has passed on to the afterlife.
    This got me to pondering. What if every five years you could bring one person back for a day. Who would you choose? Would you choose anyone? I got to thinking of all the loved ones I've lost throughout my life. Would it be my grandfather on my Dad's side who I never really got to know because I was so young when he passed. I could get to know a man that I've only heard stories about. I am sorry I never got to know him and it would be cool to meet him. I have only a few of these wishes throughout my lifetime how high up on the list is my granddad whom I've never known?  Would it be either of my grandmothers ? Most definitely  I would love to sit and talk with them for hours. I could let them know their diciplining was not in vain and I turned out ok. I could let them know that they influenced my life and that I would not be who I am without them and their memories in my life. Would it be my older brother who I did not get to grow old with? He was only 25 and had so much life left. I would love for him to meet Cynthia. I would love to wrestle with him one more time. I think I could take him this time maybe. I would talk music and football.  That was two of his greatest loves as well. My mother would be number one on the wish list. Man I miss her so much every day. I just want her to know I'm ok.  I would have to break out the Barry Mannilow  collection and dust it off.  Just to sit and rewind, go back in time and visit the past. The truth is there are so many to bring back for a day it would be hard to choose. 
     Then we are faced with the dilemma of saying goodbye again. Ripping open that old wound and sorrow and grief of losing them the first time.  It's missing them even more all over again. Would it be worth it?. I'm sure most of us would say yes, it  would definitely be worth the suffering we would endure. One day would never be enough.
   The one question that would have to be answered is what does the afterlife hold for us? Wouldn't that take a little fear out of death if we knew what was waiting for us on the other side.
   I know this what if is just a dream but that is what all what ifs are.  I can take comfort and peace in knowing each of these lost loved ones, the ones mentioned and those that are not, are a part of my life every day. Those memories are all I have. I can take a few minutes every day and let my mind drift back to those days when they were were all in my life.  That is all have.  We keep moving on because life doesn't stop.  We just have to live our lives in way that someone would give up a wish to bring you back for a day.
  Kenney Big Skinny Pope

Itsy Bitsy Spider

On my way work one day this week, I climbed into my truck preparing to back out of the driveway. As I checked my side mirrors I noticed a little spider on the passenger side mirror trying desperately to climb off. For anyone that knows me well, there are three things I don't interact with. I do not like Spiders, snakes or mice/ rats. This spider being one of the three was on his or her own in finding a way off the truck. I figured if it didn't make its way down, once I reached cruising speed of 70 mph it would fly like it never had before. Maybe in its last seconds on earth it would be an adrenaline rush. The last few seconds just flying at what must be like the speed for a little spider. Maybe in some way I was helping the spider fulfill something on its bucket list. I'm not real sure how Spiders think but it could have been a possibility.  So now I am cruising through a neighborhood at 35 mph.  This spider is a trooper. He or she is under duress as the wind force is shaking as it scurries trying to find safety. I am thinking little spider you ain't seen nothing yet. We are fixing to hit the highway and you will be airborne in just a few. I hope you brought a helmet. So as we hit the highway the spider crawls up to the plastic housing surrounding the mirror. It's in a place where there is virtually no wind force to blow it down the road. That spider rode from the Westside of Fort Worth to South Dallas. This is about a 45 minute trip. Kudos spider I have driven you farther than you could walk in a lifetime. When I got out of the truck I left the spider right where he was because in a weird way he or she earned my respect. Now comes the hard part of readjusting to a new way of life for this spider. It in an unfamiliar place with new obstacles to conquer.
      As I got to thinking about this very minor event for me but probably momentous for this spider this thought came to me. Isn't life for us a lot like this spider's crazy ride? We are traveling down life's highway at what seems like breakneck speed with no idea where we are headed. Like this little spider we have traveled so far that we could not get back to where we were if we had three lifetimes. Every day is an exercise in overcoming new obstacles. Many of these said obstacles are things that we arbitrarily place in our path throughout our years of travel. We do this because we think that we will never have to go over the obstacle, but there it is waiting on us. Some of the obstacles we face are from situations arising in which we have no control.  Most animals are created with the basic instinct of survival. This means they don't concern themselves with the past they are constantly looking forward. The spider wasn't concerned about getting back to where it was it was only concerned about moving forward in survival mode. We can't concern ourselves with looking back at yesterday or 20 years ago trying to change the past or regretting past mistakes. We can learn from them, making our future a better place to be in.  Just like the spider had no say in where he was going, we living life experience the same daily. We might not know exactly where life is going to take because there are so many unplanned or predicted twists and turns. We can make the most of where we are. We can climb down off of the mirror and clean out our 8 legged pair of pants because sometimes life is scary and at times its a harrowing ride. Then once again there are those simple moments when you feel the love of friends and family and thank God for giving you another day. Those exhilarating days are what makes life worth pushing on down the road for another mile or two.
   The truth is that spider could have bailed anytime but chose not to. Jumping from the truck at that speed would have been certain death. It chose to hang on and see where the ride was taking it.  The spider's family and friends were a memory and now the spider moves on to the big city. Brighter days hopefully with new opportunities and memories.  Maybe and more than likely this spider had no idea what transpired a few days ago. There is a slim chance it used its little spider Mobile phone and called it's friends and family and said I am finally taking that trip I talked about to find myself.  It never takes long to find yourself in Dallas and it might be ready to come home soon. If you find yourself in Dallas and see a spider with eight thumbs up in the wind trying to hitch a ride back to Fort Worth pull over and give him or her a mirror to ride back on.
  Enjoy the ride.
Kenney"Bigskinny Pope"
7/16/2016

4th of July

Another family barbecue-get together another hot summer day.  Another dip in the pool to cool off, yes you guessed it, another 4th of July celebration. its one of those times of the year  we all get together. It's a time of memory making. It's a time of reflecting and celebrating our freedoms. For some it may be just a day off but for others it's a reminder of those who fought to give us our way of life. Even today as we are celebrating there will be some there with us who gave up a part of their life to make sure you could do what you are doing today. There is not one of us who have never experienced going through a war could imagine the mental anguish. That is something our Veterans experience on a daily basis. Some have learned how to cope but they never forget. Some never quite get there. Society and our Government forgot them. You can find these lost souls living on the streets or in homeless shelters. They deserve so much more than they have been given. What a price was paid for our right to worship how we see fit. What a price paid to just live our lives on a daily basis freely.  It's possibly one of two days a year they even come to mind. I know I take my freedom for granted, how could I not? It's all I've ever known. These days the fight is on our soils.  Wars and battles still rage. We hear about it almost every day. We now more than ever depend on our Veterans to protect our homeland from those who wish to do us harm. The 4th of July is more than a pool party or some dogs and burgers on the grill. It's a time to stand by our military and support them. It's a time we fight the government so that our vets get the heathcare  they deserve. It's a time to be there for a family member who has served and is having a hard time readjusting. It's a time to give back to those who never thought twice about giving it all if it came down to it. It's a time to listen and learn and to care about more than ourselves. Honestly if it weren't for our soldiers what kind of life would we have to celebrate. In the spirit of 1776, Happy 4th of July.

Taken For Granted

As I walked into the room I hit the light switch and slowly raised it to the on position.As the light filled the room and drove out the darkness, I realized that it was something taken for granted. I never gave it much thought before. I just turned on the switch and there it was, like it magically appeared. The only time I ever give it a second thought is when it doesn't come on. Then it's time to change the bulb or get an electrician out to fix the problem. I can relate to my truck in much the same way. As I start my trucks for my trip into work each morning I take it for granted that it will start. Maybe it's the trip into work itself, I think sometimes it's taken for granted that I will arrive safely.
     The reason I bring this up, is the health scare that shook my family last weekend.  My older brother experienced a stroke and for a day or so we were all  dangling in the wind. We were all worried and still  are as he is recovering.  He's made a remarkable recovery but has a ways to go to get back to 100 percent.  He's only 5 years older than me that's way too young for a stroke.
    The truth of the matter is this. We take our health for granted.  We get up and function the best we can all the while ignoring the warning signs. Maybe the light bulb flickers an hour or two before it finally goes poof as you turn it on and it's blown. I can't say because I've never paid any attention to it.  I've pretty much ignored the light except  when I've had to change the bulb.  We pretty much treat our bodies the same way. They are ignored until there is a problem. Then we want to fix it.  I will admit this is more of a guy issue.  I am the worst. I love to eat and not always healthy. I love bread, sweets and all things bad for me. Even though I know it's bad for me it doesn't change anything. Don't fix what ain't broken. The truth is unless we are getting regular check ups we don't have a clue what's broken. My brother found out some things that were in need of fixing. We are fortunate he had the chance to get them fixed. It could have been much worse.  Look as we get older and we get more worn parts on us let's make it a habit to do the occasional checkup so we at least have a fighting chance. Life is precious  and should never be taken for granted.

Then They Grow Up

I am finding it more important as Cynthia's girls get older that we spend more time together.  There will come a day in the next few years when they will get busy with their own lives and it's going to be much harder to bring everyone together for a night out. These are what I call memory making times.  Hey it may cost a few bucks to plan an outing but it's so worth it and those memories last a lifetime. I'm lucky to have had the opportunity to have a part in raising three amazing girls. Angelah, Kathryn and Jamey, thanks for all the great memories. I'm glad I was able to be there
   I look back at my own childhood and young adult days. The times as a family where we would go out.  First off my mom deserved a night out away from preparing a meal and her daily routine.  She was a stay at home mom and she raised 6 of us.  Some Saturdays we would go roller skating and those were some great nights. Let me tell you my mom could skate. My dad would put on a pair of skates and meander around the rink but you could tell he wasn't comfortable.  He was not really in his element.  Looking back I realize that was all part of being a dad. That's what dad's do. They put their kids first. They don't brag about it, they don't seek recognition for it they just do it.  They sometimes for lack of better words " make a fool of themselves to ensure that their kids have the things they didn't.  My dad's childhood was not about having fun it was about working to help support the family.  I really believe those nights were just as special for him too. 
      Let me just say that we as fathers are missing out on a lot of life's great moments when choose other things over our children.  They pick up on what's important to you.  For some it may be that money rules their lives. For others it may be drugs or alcohol. Whatever it is, your children see it.  You are by all means their example. Don't belittle or criticize when they become just like you. (Cat's in the Cradle) listen to that song and this all makes sense. 
   The funny thing, it doesn't have to cost money to be there for your children, you just have to be there.  If you aren't there to shape and mold them into great people, someone else will.  Some messed up guy is looking to help your girl with Daddy issues.  Some one else will get to play catch with your son.  Some other guy gets to come in the picture and be all the things you won't be and be the hero. That , my uninvolved father is on you and only you.  
      We have to figure out priorities and see if it worth depriving children of father time.  Working to make sure your family is taken care of is acceptable but when it takes you away every second of the day, we might need to ask ourselves," How much do we really need?"  If money is your thing just know this, you can't buy their love.  They may enjoy the material things for a while but it's an empty gesture. In the end they just want what all their friends have. A dad that will consistently sacrifice to spend time with them. A dad that would give his life for his children.  If that's not you in my opinion you are just a man not worthy of being called dad.
Many know that I'm adopted by my uncle, who is and will always be my dad.  He is my example of what a dad should be.  He raised three children of his own and well as three adopted. What a sacrifice to make. What a huge financial burden.  Giving of himself to teach and to show us what a dad should be. I'm eternally grateful and blessed.
   They grow up and then it's too late. Capture the moments while you can. It only last a little while.
God Bless
Kenney Bigskinny" Pope.