It's our grand plan as a teenager, to grow older. You know to leave the nest and fly on our own wings. I think we have a vision in our mind how we want it to be. I know for me it was to be always surrounded by family. I think this was because it was all I really knew. It's no secret to most that I spent a huge chunk of my post high school graduation days working for my dad. We worked in construction so our work days were greatly affected by the weather. We would have the occasional rain day. I know that these days would affect my paycheck but these days were some of the best that I can remember. What was it that made these days so special you might ask? Those days would start out the same. My dad would call the day off. We might stop for breakfast and then we would go to my Aunt Izeta's and my Dad's oldest sibling, his brother Monroe, to just hang out. We Nicknamed him Muntz. What was cool about my Aunt and Uncle's house was it was the meeting place for my dad's side. There was no telling what Cousins Aunts or Uncles would be there at any given time. There was always a pot of coffee an the threat of a 42 domino game breaking out. My dad's brothers and sisters would all meet there, so I got to see my dad interact with his siblings. My dad came from a large family. He had eleven or twelve siblings so it was a huge gathering most days. I got to see my dad interact with his siblings and it was cool. There was a lot of love in that house and some good times for sure. I can remember on lot's of occasion on a Friday or Saturday night it would be a lot of the same. It did not matter how old they got they loved spending time together. The times have changed. most of my dad's siblings have passed away. There are only three of them left. My dad and two of his sisters are all that remain of those good times. My dad's house has somewhat became the gathering place. It's not the same but there is still a lot of love there. They have all grown older so they can't get out as much for health reasons. My dad will still drive to where they live to visit when he can. No matter how old he gets that is his family and he still wants to be as close as he can. I know he feels that family came first. They were the first best friends he had. I know he feels that you can't let go of those relationships. He has told me that you might not agree with family all the time and there are certainly times when you can't stand being around them but family is the most important thing in life second only to your faith in God and Jesus Christ. I am thankful for this role model in my life more than I can ever express.
When I say this is all I knew I am not exaggerating it one bit. In my mind as a teenager, This is what I saw in my future. We would have meeting place to hang out on the weekends and siblings would all be there. There would be a pot of coffee and dominoes. There would be laughter and love. It was a simple plan. I grew up in a family with six children, mom and dad. I knew deep down that it would happen that way. Well plans don't always work out like we think or hope they will. Here is the thing though, I am not sure you can put the blame on one single thing. I believe it's a lot of unconsidered variables that you never see as a bright eyed teen. There are family obligations. You know the kiddos have school activities and that takes all of your free time. Then there is the job that calls you away to a remote corner of the earth. You can never find time to get back. Maybe it's just that you have gotten into a daily routine and family just doesn't fit into it. We can say that we stay in contact we text each other daily but come on in our heart we know it isn't the same. Maybe you did not have the same experiences with family or the interaction I did. I will say I am sorry because as I said before it was some of the best times of my life and I truly miss those days. I have watched all of those memories fade over time. I have seen my uncles and aunts slowly fade away and exit stage right. I have seen the old house where there were so many memories torn down and the landscape around it changed forever memories again exit stage left. I have seen my mom pass with cancer and another piece of life and memories gone. The oldest sibling whom I thought we be the glue bringing all together taken away from all of way too soon. I have seen my own siblings scatter like a covey of quails in the wind. We still get together occasionally and sure we keep up with each others happenings on social media but its not quite how I pictured it. I even feel like me and dad are not as close as we used to be, but I like everyone else, I am so self involved in my life that I neglect to spend time with him. Shame on me he raised me better than that and gave me an example of how it should be.
My point of all of this is this. We are all destined to grow older Good Lord willing. We don't have to grow apart. Call your family check in with them with a real voice and love. Tell them you love and miss them because guess what they won't always be here and you will be filled with regret. Final point. The last time I saw my oldest brother he wanted me to stop for a second and just talk. I told him I couldn't because I had to be somewhere. I don't know what he wanted to say. It might have just been to let me know that he loved me. Two days later God called him home. Maybe he sensed his time was short and he wanted to give me moment to always remember. I will never know. All I have now is regret. Time is short and futures are unclear. Tell your loved ones you love them, mend those broken relationships before time runs out.
Love Ya
Big Skinny
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