Responsibility

I think the thing I miss most about being young, is the carefree aspect. We never had to worry about where the next meal was coming from or about shelter, electricity, it seemed it just magically appeared. Now I know it really didn't my mama worked hard to provide meals and kept the house clean. She had the responsibility to make sure those things we taken care of so that her family was taken care of. My dad worked hard to provide for his family.
   I think sometimes as a child we take those things for granted.  We knew we weren't going to go hungry. It may not have been what we wanted to eat but it was there always available at every meal. By the way if you have ever seen me you can see I never turned many meals away. My house wasn't the nicest on the block but it was always home and I was safe.
      I have worked since I was 11 or 12 at least part time or Summers. I started working full time out high school at 17. Working at a young age while still living at home I had just a few responsibilities. When I was still in school and worked Summers I would have to buy my school clothes and supplies. When I started driving I had to pay for my vehicle as well as my insurance, fuel and maintenance.  When I graduated high school 50.00 a week for rent was added to that as long as I lived at home. It was just a small taste as to what was to come.
    I finally got a real taste of responsibility when I got my own place ( which I rented from my parents) at the age of 18. I was working for my dad. It was construction so we would be affected by weather. There were weeks that were tight financially.  As I got older the responsibilities got real. I realized you have to do what you have to do to stay afloat.
     The point of all of this came to a head this last week. I was laid off from my job 4 weeks ago. I had been looking for work in the field I came from but not having any luck. Amazon came along and offered me a job which was something I needed.  It reminded me of that meal  that mom made me as a child.  It wasn't something I wanted to eat it wasn't appealing even.  This job pays less than my last one and the hours are on the night shift. There is no prestige no glamour.  But wait here is a thought. God provided it for me. I prayed for a job and this is what was given to me. Do I know more than God? Can I see into the future and where this might lead?.  But what about all of the family time I'm missing out on? Well being short sided you miss a lot of blessings, like a three day weekend every week. That's a lot of quality family time.  Its funny but God has a way of opening your eyes through someone else. After 2 days and just being in pain from my feet and knees I was ready to quit. This isn't for me I told Cynthia. I said I can take a lot of pain but this is killing me.  She said this is where God had lead you and you got this.  She believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. I thought as a man of my house I have responsibilities. This is what I got to do. Here is the point life is not always a bed of roses. Some times God wants us to learn and grow. He always opens the door he wants us to go through. He asks us to be patient and we will be rewarded. He always provides us a way to provide for our responsibilities. Honestly I am looking at this job with a new perspective. I can hold my head up and be proud of a honest days work. I can give it my all and know God will bless my efforts. I can know that with God nothing is in vain and is done with a purpose. I will look forward to going to work and know that my family will be blessed for my work. I will thank you God for always providing for my responsibilities.
Big Skinny