Small Talk

Some have it some don’t. That is what I have always been told. Some people can talk to anyone. Others are more withdrawn and don’t speak unless spoken to.  I have the gift of gab for the most part. I think I learned from the best. My dad has always been the most personable human I have ever known. He can talk to anyone. It’s no wonder I never meet a stranger.  Being in sales and especially outside sales, you had better know how to create some small talk. Being in radio for a period of time, you run across fans of the station. You meet a lot of people and they want to meet you and get to know you.  It was sometimes a little tougher to socialize with a mass of people and I always felt a little uncomfortable in the bigger social scenes. I am a good talker and prefer the one on one rather than the mass of people. The problem with the radio crowd was a perception problem. You come across over the airwaves one way and when they meet you for the first time it’s totally different. I always tried to be myself on the air and I think for the most part I was genuine. Cynthia likes to give me a hard time because of what she calls my radio voice.  In my everyday life apparently I talk a certain way and on the air my voice is a little different.  My voice is what most people recognize. I never knew how to take it when people said that I did not look anything like I sounded. Do you see what i just did? That is known as small talk.   Sorry got a little sidetracked. Sometimes it’s hard to create small talk, especially if you are the one doing all of the talking.  I was reminded of this all too well yesterday as I signed a contract for a DJ event. I was trying to make small talk to make it less awkward for the guy I was meeting for the first time. I tried with the standard what do you do for a living. Short direct answers suck I am putting that out there. If you get a short answer it’s someone pretty much saying I am not a talker. You have nowhere to go from there. If you ask me a question sit down because I am going to give you the full version of the answer to the best of my ability. That’s why I love radio so much because I love to talk, just ask……. everyone they will tell you.  

          Basics of small talk, the 101 class is simple. You have to find some common interests. In the example of a sales call, I would look around the person’s office and see what was up for discussion. Antlers on the wall……. This dude loves to hunt. I see pictures of some child playing football……. He loves football.  I see a diploma from The University of Oklahoma……. This guy is mentally challenged; I will have to speak slowly.  You get the idea you just find something, anything that you have in common to talk about.  Just an FYI people love to talk about themselves. If you can get people to share stories about themselves you have it made.  In social situations it’s pretty much the same thing. You have to find common ground.  The old standby… the weather works in a pinch. It often leads to a more interesting conversation.  I found what works best for me is sarcasm. I am not using it on the person I am talking to, that wouldn’t be nice. I mostly use it on specific situations. Maybe I am standing in line at the grocery store for an extended period of time. I would maybe say something sarcastic out of earshot of the cashier to the person in front of me.  Something like, man she is slow, she reminds me of a professor I met  from the University of Oklahoma . If you get a laugh the ice is broken. If you don’t get a response, well you tried.   If I see someone with a scowl on their face I am not approaching that person. I don’t need the added pressure of trying to get them to talk and or crack a smile. I honestly think that you can acquire to some degree the ability to make small talk if you just look for opportunities to speak. You just have to keep your eyes and ears open. If you don’t have the ability and you are in my vicinity just come over introduce yourself and let me take it from there. You can ask anyone, I can talk enough for the both of us.  Just do me the favor of looking like you are interested. I will do my best to carry on the small talk. 

Have a great weekend 

Kenney "Big Skinny" Pope