One of my favorite days in elementary school was when the
whole school participated in a track meet. I don’t for the life of me remember
what the day was specifically called but it was a school wide track meet. We
would practice during physical education and everyone in class was selected for
an event. There would be all of the normal track meet events, with a few like
the three legged race thrown in. I can remember it would usually be in the spring
towards the end of the year. It was fun and it was one of our first encounters
with competition.
They tried to put
you in an event category where you could be competitive. I was a distance
runner so I usually ran those types of races. They would set us up at the
starting line, blow the whistle and we were off to the races literally. It felt
good to run and look over your shoulder to see who might be getting ready to
pass you. I personally like the look on the person’s face when you were doing
the passing. You gave it all you had because you wanted to win. There was no
better feeling than to win a race.
At the end of
the events, there would be an awards assembly.
It was akin to the Olympics medal ceremony. You would stand up in front of your
classmates and take your blue ribbon or red ribbon if you got second. That’s the way it was then. If you didn’t
place you went home empty handed. There was no ribbon for the refrigerator door. There was no reward. Your parent’s would say that they were proud
of you and that you gave it your best but it was a bitter feeling to lose. You saw it as a learning lesson. Life is made
up of winners and losers. You don’t want to lose, you had two options, don’t
participate or try harder next time. If you don’t like that feeling it was up
to you to try and make sure that you never felt it again. I get it; some of us are not the most
athletically inclined. We do the best with what the Good Lord gave
us. The secret is to always do your best, win or lose you have no regrets.
Losing hurts there is no doubt about it. How many grown
athletes have you seen physically exhausted crying because they came up short
in their goals of winning the big one. It
doesn’t make you less of a man or woman to shed tears because you lost. It shows humanity and I respect that. On the other hand I have absolutely no
respect for a sore loser. Lose with dignity.
Now that was in
fact a fairly long introduction to my point which is this. There should never ever be a participation
trophy. That is a recipe for disaster. I
do not want to give my child an award for just showing up and participating.
Some would say that it is not good that a child should feel bad for losing. I
will unapologetically say that losing is part of life. At some point in
everyone’s life we experience losing. I will say once again that losing sucks. I
do not know how else to put it. It is a
bitter feeling that is hard to deal with sometimes. It doesn’t matter if it’s
losing a promotion to a co-worker or losing a tennis match to a friend, we all
have a competitive side and sometimes it drives us to be better. What we teach
our children by awarding the participation trophy is, I don’t even have to try
and I am going to be rewarded. So then enters the thought, hey why try if I am
going to get an award anyway? I am not saying that everyone thinks this way but
there are those who do. What happens if I
show up for work but don’t put in the hours? Can I ask my boss for a
paycheck? Hey boss I participated I was
here. Life does not work that way.
I want my children and grandchildren to know I do not care
if you lose as long as you gave it your all. You are not going to win at
everything that you do. Even the best
lose occasionally because we all have a bad day. Losing does not define you.
What defines you is the character that losing promotes within you. Is it the character
to try harder or to just quit? If you chose the latter, I hope that you enjoy
your mantle full of participation ribbons and trophies. I will be living in the
real world trying my hardest to be a winner, if I lose occasionally, I will
pick myself up and try harder. By the way the fact that you try your best makes
you a winner already.
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