4th of July

Another family barbecue-get together another hot summer day.  Another dip in the pool to cool off, yes you guessed it, another 4th of July celebration. its one of those times of the year  we all get together. It's a time of memory making. It's a time of reflecting and celebrating our freedoms. For some it may be just a day off but for others it's a reminder of those who fought to give us our way of life. Even today as we are celebrating there will be some there with us who gave up a part of their life to make sure you could do what you are doing today. There is not one of us who have never experienced going through a war could imagine the mental anguish. That is something our Veterans experience on a daily basis. Some have learned how to cope but they never forget. Some never quite get there. Society and our Government forgot them. You can find these lost souls living on the streets or in homeless shelters. They deserve so much more than they have been given. What a price was paid for our right to worship how we see fit. What a price paid to just live our lives on a daily basis freely.  It's possibly one of two days a year they even come to mind. I know I take my freedom for granted, how could I not? It's all I've ever known. These days the fight is on our soils.  Wars and battles still rage. We hear about it almost every day. We now more than ever depend on our Veterans to protect our homeland from those who wish to do us harm. The 4th of July is more than a pool party or some dogs and burgers on the grill. It's a time to stand by our military and support them. It's a time we fight the government so that our vets get the heathcare  they deserve. It's a time to be there for a family member who has served and is having a hard time readjusting. It's a time to give back to those who never thought twice about giving it all if it came down to it. It's a time to listen and learn and to care about more than ourselves. Honestly if it weren't for our soldiers what kind of life would we have to celebrate. In the spirit of 1776, Happy 4th of July.

Taken For Granted

As I walked into the room I hit the light switch and slowly raised it to the on position.As the light filled the room and drove out the darkness, I realized that it was something taken for granted. I never gave it much thought before. I just turned on the switch and there it was, like it magically appeared. The only time I ever give it a second thought is when it doesn't come on. Then it's time to change the bulb or get an electrician out to fix the problem. I can relate to my truck in much the same way. As I start my trucks for my trip into work each morning I take it for granted that it will start. Maybe it's the trip into work itself, I think sometimes it's taken for granted that I will arrive safely.
     The reason I bring this up, is the health scare that shook my family last weekend.  My older brother experienced a stroke and for a day or so we were all  dangling in the wind. We were all worried and still  are as he is recovering.  He's made a remarkable recovery but has a ways to go to get back to 100 percent.  He's only 5 years older than me that's way too young for a stroke.
    The truth of the matter is this. We take our health for granted.  We get up and function the best we can all the while ignoring the warning signs. Maybe the light bulb flickers an hour or two before it finally goes poof as you turn it on and it's blown. I can't say because I've never paid any attention to it.  I've pretty much ignored the light except  when I've had to change the bulb.  We pretty much treat our bodies the same way. They are ignored until there is a problem. Then we want to fix it.  I will admit this is more of a guy issue.  I am the worst. I love to eat and not always healthy. I love bread, sweets and all things bad for me. Even though I know it's bad for me it doesn't change anything. Don't fix what ain't broken. The truth is unless we are getting regular check ups we don't have a clue what's broken. My brother found out some things that were in need of fixing. We are fortunate he had the chance to get them fixed. It could have been much worse.  Look as we get older and we get more worn parts on us let's make it a habit to do the occasional checkup so we at least have a fighting chance. Life is precious  and should never be taken for granted.

Then They Grow Up

I am finding it more important as Cynthia's girls get older that we spend more time together.  There will come a day in the next few years when they will get busy with their own lives and it's going to be much harder to bring everyone together for a night out. These are what I call memory making times.  Hey it may cost a few bucks to plan an outing but it's so worth it and those memories last a lifetime. I'm lucky to have had the opportunity to have a part in raising three amazing girls. Angelah, Kathryn and Jamey, thanks for all the great memories. I'm glad I was able to be there
   I look back at my own childhood and young adult days. The times as a family where we would go out.  First off my mom deserved a night out away from preparing a meal and her daily routine.  She was a stay at home mom and she raised 6 of us.  Some Saturdays we would go roller skating and those were some great nights. Let me tell you my mom could skate. My dad would put on a pair of skates and meander around the rink but you could tell he wasn't comfortable.  He was not really in his element.  Looking back I realize that was all part of being a dad. That's what dad's do. They put their kids first. They don't brag about it, they don't seek recognition for it they just do it.  They sometimes for lack of better words " make a fool of themselves to ensure that their kids have the things they didn't.  My dad's childhood was not about having fun it was about working to help support the family.  I really believe those nights were just as special for him too. 
      Let me just say that we as fathers are missing out on a lot of life's great moments when choose other things over our children.  They pick up on what's important to you.  For some it may be that money rules their lives. For others it may be drugs or alcohol. Whatever it is, your children see it.  You are by all means their example. Don't belittle or criticize when they become just like you. (Cat's in the Cradle) listen to that song and this all makes sense. 
   The funny thing, it doesn't have to cost money to be there for your children, you just have to be there.  If you aren't there to shape and mold them into great people, someone else will.  Some messed up guy is looking to help your girl with Daddy issues.  Some one else will get to play catch with your son.  Some other guy gets to come in the picture and be all the things you won't be and be the hero. That , my uninvolved father is on you and only you.  
      We have to figure out priorities and see if it worth depriving children of father time.  Working to make sure your family is taken care of is acceptable but when it takes you away every second of the day, we might need to ask ourselves," How much do we really need?"  If money is your thing just know this, you can't buy their love.  They may enjoy the material things for a while but it's an empty gesture. In the end they just want what all their friends have. A dad that will consistently sacrifice to spend time with them. A dad that would give his life for his children.  If that's not you in my opinion you are just a man not worthy of being called dad.
Many know that I'm adopted by my uncle, who is and will always be my dad.  He is my example of what a dad should be.  He raised three children of his own and well as three adopted. What a sacrifice to make. What a huge financial burden.  Giving of himself to teach and to show us what a dad should be. I'm eternally grateful and blessed.
   They grow up and then it's too late. Capture the moments while you can. It only last a little while.
God Bless
Kenney Bigskinny" Pope.

Rumble Strip

The open road and smooth sailing, a road trip is one of life's greatest adventures. You set out fiil the car and you are on your way.  No traffic just you and the call of the road.  Somewhere along the way something grabs your attention and you veer towards the shoulder. You feel the tires rolling over what is designed to make you realize you are not where you need to be and you need to get back between the lines.  The rumble strip has woke you up. It did its job and you are now heading safely down the road.
    Life in general is a lot like that. We sail along smoothly all is good.  That's when it happens. We loose focus and we are suddenly on the shoulder.  Then we feel the rumble strip our wake up call.  Something that totally knocks you out of your complacency.  Something that makes you realize that life can change on a dime. The Rumble Strip comes in many forms.  Loss of a job, financial troubles, a death, terminal disease are just a few that come to mind. These will cause you to stop down and question your values, your dreams, your own mortality and the life you lived in general. They will make you ask yourself what is important? What is first in my life. Is it money, fame, family, career. It will make you question life's choices.  Sometimes God sees fit to allow us to experience one of life's rumble strip.  It's his way of pointing us in a direction where we need to make changes that not only benefit us but everyone around us.  I've experienced one or two in my lifetime. At the age of 17, I lost my oldest brother at the young age of 25.  That altered my thinking, being seventeen, I was imortal I have lots of time left.  That served to show me life is second by second with no guarantees.  The loss of my mother was another rumble strip. Not the death itself, which was hard. What came to me is all of the things we spend a lifetime accumulating is all in vain.  Yes it brings us joy at the time but you take none of it with you. My mom spent a lot of year accumulating Knick knacks. There were drawers full of things that would never be seen.  There was simply no room for them.  My divorce yet another rumble strip. While there was some good that came from my marriage, my three daughters, it caused me to step back and examine life's choices and determine I will never settle for less than what is best for me. 
    The truth is life is full of bumps in the road.  The rumble strip is not designed to bring you to a grinding halt. It only serves to allow you to make corrections to put you back where you need to be. On life's highway. Happy driving fellow drivers. Watch out for potholes but that's a blog for another day. 

The Price of Getting Older

All my life I've been told wisdom comes with age. While there some truth to that, I think we get a lot more than we expected. As a child we couldn't wait to get older because with age came more freedom. As I get older though I realize there is a price to pay for that freedom.
    I know you are scratching your head and wondering what I am talking about.  Hang with me and I will explain.  As a child we have a world around us. It's a familiar world with familiar faces and places. It's filled with childhood heroes and legends.  We don't think about it because it's always been there. It's all we've ever known. It is after all our world. It should be full of good times friends and laughter. Full of music and memorable moments.  There is a solid wall around you and you feel safe.  You have a family network full of loved ones and life is good.  Then it starts.
   Maybe its a grandparent or a great aunt or uncle. You feel loss for the first time. A brick in your once  solid wall has been removed and life changes.  You are still a child so you don't fully grasp the situation.  After a few years of not seeing that loved one it becomes the new normal.  Yes it hurts but you rationalize that they were old and had a good life.  As you get older and those losses become more frequent, you start thinking about how young they were and they were taken before their time. The losses are getting closer and your once solid wall is looking like a game of Jenga about to crumble.  I look at my own father who will be eighty this year. He came from a large family 11 or 12 siblings. One by one they have all passed except him and his youngest sister.  He has lost his wife, mother, father, cousins and just about everyone he grew up with.  
    We watch as our childhood legends and heroes pass away. Although their shows and music live on, these were people that were always there your whole life.  Our world is constantly changing.  I think about the loss of my mother or Cynthia's dad. How do you deal with a loss that big in your life. The very people who have shaped your life from its very beginning now gone? Yet we have to move on with a piece of our world gone forever.  Some don't like change, we've seen a lot in our lifetime. Things we knew as a child are now extinct. Some changes are good, technology and such. Some are slow to adapt or not adapt at all.  Some changes are forced on you and you have no choice to adapt. We as a human race are great at adapting and moving forward. We don't embrace our new normal we just accept it and wait for the next change.
  Every day I think to myself if only Mama was still here or just one more game of Dominoes with Aunt Iseta or another backyard football game with my big brother Scooter. So many parts of my world are missing.  It's not to be you see because every day is an adjustment to the new normal.  I don't like having to say goodbye to parts of my world.  But that's the price of growing older. 
  If i could offer any advice it would be this. Don't rush it because it's so not worth what you trade to be another year older. Cherish those those that compete your world. We will never be able to go back and enjoy life as it was.  Today is the new normal.

RIP to the bricks in my wall lost this year. 
Kenney Pope
2016
Kenneypope1984@gmail. com

The Traveler

I am always up for a road trip. The stops along the way, discovering new places and experiencing new things. You plan everything out and jump into the car and off you go.  Sometimes along the way the plans fly out the window and you just wing it. If you see something interesting you just go for it.
  Life is a lot like that. Every day we are geared up for a trip. The only difference is, we never know where it will take us. Sometimes it takes us to places of indescribable highs and some days we are met with unexpected lows.  We just hope that along the way it balances out. 
    We are passengers and pretty much at the mercy of whatever road is in front of us at any given moment. The road is constantly changing. Unlike our planned road trip there is no set path. Sometimes the road changes on a dime. What was once clear sailing just a moment ago is now full of roadblocks. Then on the other hand the road that looked impassable yesterday is suddenly open. The things that seemed impossible yesterday, for some unknown reason we have acquired a second wind and that impossible hurdle or task is not only possible it is now in your rearview mirror.  That serves to give you confidence. You can put your foot on the gas and move ahead. 
    What makes our journey so great is the people on the trip with you.  No matter where you are going they are there along for the ride.  That being said choose your fellow passengers carefully. You don't want the backseat driver always telling the driver just where to go and how to get there. You don't want to have the passenger that has to stop every 5 minutes. Life waits on no one.  You don't want the complainer life is too short. You will meet some on the road who are worthwhile and they will climb in and ride awhile some will stay for the whole trip. Once again this is amazing because no one knows where we are going. Just know for future reference the trip will sometimes have tears, laughter and everything in between.  Cherish the passengers who are there for the rough road as well as the smooth sailing.
   Life is a journey but not one made up of miles but rather of minutes. Enjoy the trip but most of all Godspeed. 

A Time of Reflection

Sitting here this morning thinking about life and feeling philosophical. Thinking about all of the great people in my life that were lost last year. I'm feeling selfish and wishing they were all here. I know that they are in a better place.  That being said I'm wondering what impact I've made on all of the people in my life. Have I made as difference. I would like to think so.  I would like to think when people reflect back over my life that I've made them laugh or smile and forget life for a little while. I think that should be what we all strive for. That should be our legacy.  Was your life better for knowing me?  We worry about getting ahead and the day to day. Everyone has complaints but the truth is no one wants to hear them.  Have you ever been around someone that complains all the time. Just a few hours around them and you are drained emotionally. They wake up complaining and go to bed the same way. You think to yourself surely they could find one thing to be thankful for.  Honestly, everyone of us  could fill a day with complaints and be miserable. What good does it do. Truthfully, a lot of our misery is our own doing. We could change a lot of our situation with better life choices. The old saying " Life is What you make it" holds a lot of truth. Yes I know we don't control everything. A lot of hardships are thrown on us and we are left to pick up the pieces. That's where a person who has an impact on your life comes into play. A person who is unselfish and puts others first.  To be there no matter the time of day. To put a smile on your face. To pray or just be a shoulder to lean on. It takes dedication.  That's the kind of people I want in my life.  That's the kind of man I want to be. That is one of the reasons my dad is such a great man. He is always there for others. You want a life that's fulfilling put others first. You will be blessed for it. You will leave a legacy that will live forever.  Look back in history and think about the people who made a difference and think about the qualities that set them apart. The truth is no one but friends and family may know you even existed. You may never be famous and that's OK.  When they reflect back on your life will they think about a tortured soul who was never happy or will they smile and think about the impact you had on their life. I choose the latter. It's not too late to start trying to make a difference today. It starts with thinking about others and putting yourself at the back of the line. Here is a tip don't do it for compliments and get discouraged because no one is noticing, someone is always watching and you are an example to someone. Before you know it you could be the next person who unknowingly starts a revolution.  Make a difference.
God Bless
Kenney " Big Skinny" Pope.