Then They Grow Up

I am finding it more important as Cynthia's girls get older that we spend more time together.  There will come a day in the next few years when they will get busy with their own lives and it's going to be much harder to bring everyone together for a night out. These are what I call memory making times.  Hey it may cost a few bucks to plan an outing but it's so worth it and those memories last a lifetime. I'm lucky to have had the opportunity to have a part in raising three amazing girls. Angelah, Kathryn and Jamey, thanks for all the great memories. I'm glad I was able to be there
   I look back at my own childhood and young adult days. The times as a family where we would go out.  First off my mom deserved a night out away from preparing a meal and her daily routine.  She was a stay at home mom and she raised 6 of us.  Some Saturdays we would go roller skating and those were some great nights. Let me tell you my mom could skate. My dad would put on a pair of skates and meander around the rink but you could tell he wasn't comfortable.  He was not really in his element.  Looking back I realize that was all part of being a dad. That's what dad's do. They put their kids first. They don't brag about it, they don't seek recognition for it they just do it.  They sometimes for lack of better words " make a fool of themselves to ensure that their kids have the things they didn't.  My dad's childhood was not about having fun it was about working to help support the family.  I really believe those nights were just as special for him too. 
      Let me just say that we as fathers are missing out on a lot of life's great moments when choose other things over our children.  They pick up on what's important to you.  For some it may be that money rules their lives. For others it may be drugs or alcohol. Whatever it is, your children see it.  You are by all means their example. Don't belittle or criticize when they become just like you. (Cat's in the Cradle) listen to that song and this all makes sense. 
   The funny thing, it doesn't have to cost money to be there for your children, you just have to be there.  If you aren't there to shape and mold them into great people, someone else will.  Some messed up guy is looking to help your girl with Daddy issues.  Some one else will get to play catch with your son.  Some other guy gets to come in the picture and be all the things you won't be and be the hero. That , my uninvolved father is on you and only you.  
      We have to figure out priorities and see if it worth depriving children of father time.  Working to make sure your family is taken care of is acceptable but when it takes you away every second of the day, we might need to ask ourselves," How much do we really need?"  If money is your thing just know this, you can't buy their love.  They may enjoy the material things for a while but it's an empty gesture. In the end they just want what all their friends have. A dad that will consistently sacrifice to spend time with them. A dad that would give his life for his children.  If that's not you in my opinion you are just a man not worthy of being called dad.
Many know that I'm adopted by my uncle, who is and will always be my dad.  He is my example of what a dad should be.  He raised three children of his own and well as three adopted. What a sacrifice to make. What a huge financial burden.  Giving of himself to teach and to show us what a dad should be. I'm eternally grateful and blessed.
   They grow up and then it's too late. Capture the moments while you can. It only last a little while.
God Bless
Kenney Bigskinny" Pope.