The Empty Chair

There it sits, serving as a reminder of an unused place setting. It doesn't feel anything, yet it speaks to each and everyone who has lost a loved one.  For some it will be a first. For others it has become a way of life. The emotional breakdown and the waves of grief are overwhelming at times. You wonder how you will make it through this time of year. I'm here to tell you that you will. It gets a little easier with each passing year.  I still feel it at times. It never totally goes away.
    Every year as we gather to give thanks I see the Empty Chair and think about my mama. I think about how she made the holidays special. It had her touch all over it. You can't replace that. She had a way of bringing the whole family together. These days it's hit and miss who will show up. She showed us all that we had to be thankful for. We learned to accept and be happy with what we had.  I did not always have the best relationship with my mama. It was in part to being a know it all kid. As I got older and realized how wise she was and how much heartache she saved me over the years it gave me one more thing to be thankful for.  Her last few years on earth she looked at me like an adult. With that respect came deep conversations about life and love.  Those conversations I will always remember. It also makes me think she left way too soon because she had so much to share.  I wish she could have met Cynthia to see she taught me well and that I'm finally happy and at peace with my life.  I have so much to be thankful for.  
   These days the holidays seem like just another day. Cynthia don't take offense you and your family fill a void and make it special. The last three years have been some of the best holidays I have had in years. I'm talking about the gathering with my immediate family.  Something is missing. That empty chair says it loud and clear. I will never experience those days again they are gone and all that is left is memories. My dad does his best to fill the void but in reality it can't be filled.  I miss you mama and the thought of a holiday season without you, is tough. It's just not the same.  Another year will pass and Good Lord willing I will get another chance with my siblings to say thank you for being our mama. Thank you for your love and your guiding hands molding us into the adults we are today. Our mistakes aren't your fault it was simply bad choices on our part. You made us fighters and taught us how to dust ourselves off when we fall down and get back in there. Thanks most of all for showing us that family is the second  most important thing in this life of course God being first.  Mama thank you for leaving us with your memory and that empty chair.