The Wait.

There I stood in line ready to have my order taken. It occurred to me that we spend a lot of time waiting. I guess we could use all of that waiting to learn patiece. I know I need a lot more of it. Instead I usually just grow frustrated. I wonder why is the person at the front of the line taking so long. Of course when I'm lucky enough to be at the front of the line that thought never crosses my mind.  Usually I think they can wait their turn like I did.  I know that makes me somewhat self centered. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way. It does not make it right and it makes me ashamed. When did we get to a point as a society where we are all that matters. All we want to hear is next. It is your turn to have all the attention  on you. Hey it doesn't  matter if we have a million coupons that we have to sort through. Those people behind me can wait. My time is more important. 
     The truth is that  this is not me at all. The lack of patience is spot on but not so much the rest. I'm considerate of other's time. I prefer to be early because  I hate to keep anyone waiting on me. I never want anyone to think that my time is more important than theirs.  My mom drilled that into my head. Respect other's time. Doesn't it drive you crazy when that driver on the freeway weaves in and out of traffic at a high rate of speed? Do you get agitated when that driver waits until the last possible second to get over when he knew the lane was closed? Surely he saw the same warning signs as you.  Do you lose it driving behind someone doing it 15 miles an hour below the speed limit?
It seems we have to wait on those who could care less about our time. 
    Maybe we are thrown these few test daily to see how we will react.  Believe it or not someone is always watching. It could be the one riding beside you. I'm the worst, these nuts get under my skin. I then wind up saying something hateful or rude.  It's hard to portray that loving person everyone thinks you are when you are cursing someone under your breath, or yelling at them. They can't hear you and you are wasting your breath.  I have come to realize that sometimes God has to slow us down. Maybe he is keeping from a tragic accident you would have been in had you been a few more miles down the road.  Maybe that delay was to put you in contact with someone you would not have been otherwise.  Maybe it's to show us we have a lot more growing to do.  Whatever the reasons we have a lifetime of waiting ahead of us. Sometimes we might find if we slow down long enough that on the other side at the front of the line, it was something worth waiting for.

Happiness

As I look around at the people in my life I wonder sometimes if they are truly happy. I know that for most of us it is impossible to be happy all the time. We all have to deal with life and all that it throws at us. We put on our smile and pretend that we are. When we greet one another with the casual" how are you doing?" We usually get the standard I'm good or occasional great. We rarely get the truth. Why is it everybody wants to pretend to be happy. If we had the ability to make every person happy, what would it take?
    It's such a complicated proposal. What makes you happy might not have the same results for me. Everyone is different.  Just for an example, let's say you have ten people in a room, try to adjust the thermostat for all to be comfortable. It's almost impossible. We are all different and to please or make everyone happy at once is impossible. I'm not saying we shouldn't try, I'm just saying some times it is like beating your head against a wall. 
   Now to the nuts and bolts of where I was going with this. Being a parent of three great girls and watching them grow up I saw firsthand three distinct personalities. While there were those among the three who needed a little more direction, I had to let them grow into the lovely ladies they are today. I had to let them through trial and error decide what made them happy. I would protect them from what I felt was harmful and did not in any way promote happiness. I let them to a degree make life choices I felt they could handle.  Some were a little better at making choices than others but we have all been there.  What I saw was this. What made one happy was not necessarily the case for the other two.  There was not a manual it was all trial and error. They were given spiritual guidance as well earthly  and in the end it was up to them to find their path to true happiness.
    Looking back at my childhood my parents did the same. They protected me but let me slowly become who I am today. I truly think that the first step in happiness is being happy with yourself.  I know that a spiritual relationship with God helps me to see that I'm a imperfect person and his love can make me happy and and positive but I'm talking on an earthly level.  If you are not happy with who you are you spend a lot of time trying to fill a void with other things, some possibly harmful to you. Maybe you try to find someone to make you happy. Either way its not good. You need to be happy with the person you are
God created each of us different and you were made to compliment someone and you will find that someone if you are patient. We have to realize that being in a perfect relationship is great and that awesome career is great but does it truly bring happiness?  What is happiness? It is something hard to explain. Is it the euphoria you feel when you fall in love or when life is going great? Those feelings give way over time.  Is it waking up in the morning and putting your feet on the floor? There are those that aren't that fortunate to put their feet on the floor yet are happy. Is it our career accomplishments? There are a lot of successful people depressed.  I'm sure if you ask most people what would make them happy it would be, love or money.  Those are great in context but once again I'm not sure that they are an answer. 
     I'm sure if we take a good hard look at what we have in our lives we could find a reason for happiness. I think more than ever especially in the social media age we often see others and the lifestyle they project and we become dissatisfied. As we draw closer to another Christmas  celebration let's take some time to reflect on all we have and less on what we don't. Stop complaining and work to fix our situation. If you want true happiness it starts with you
Kenney Pope

Perception VS Reality

It seems every 10 years marks an anniversary for some.  We get together as adults and celebrate who we used to be and what we have become. We embellish our lives and scoreboard one another on perception and rumours.  The line between the popular and the unpopular has been erased and all that's left is life.  Yes you guessed it. It's the High School Class Reunion.  Personally I enjoy them.  I always enjoy people's reactions when I tell them who I am because I look nothing like I did in High School.  I will say social media has taken a little of the surprise away. Friends and classmates can keep in touch and with all the photos they recognize you instantly.  I enjoy when folks talk about their successes. I love the genuine and those that really enjoy seeing you. For me its always a little weird though because I wasn't that popular in High School.  I always tell Cynthia my best friends were the janitor and the lunch lady.  Seriously it wasn't as bad as that but I wasn't in the athletic program because I was all of 120 pounds throughout high school. When people meet me for the first time because of my size today they just assume I played football. I wasn't smart enough for the Honor Society. I just kind of kept to myself and the few friends I had.  So you get together and exchange "how have you been" and then it seems to always go back to what you do for a living. Everyone wants to know what you have become. That is how we measure our successes and failures, our occupation. Joe Blow has his own business and is doing great. That's what we hear. Facebook paints a great picture of Joe Blow and then you see him. The lines on his face tell a different story. Joe Blow has been married 5 times and suffered from drug addiction.  Then there are those that seem to have never left high school. They still see the imaginary line separating the popular and unpopular. You wonder why people who never really took the time to get to know you can dislike you or just totally act like you do not exist.  For me it really doesn't matter. I am happy with my life. I got to follow a dream for awhile and it was greatness. I got to hob knob with celebrities and and heard my voice on the FM radio dial. I got to hang out backstage with Def Leppard, Tanya Tucker, Clint Black and Josh Turner. I also
got to interview a lot of 70's and 80's artist that I grew up listening to. I got to bring big names on stage and enjoy free concerts. I had crowds of people that wanted to meet me anytime the station was out on remote.  See that we can all scoreboard one another. My career and life is better than yours. That Is what we try to project to others. The truth is none of that matters. The only thing that matters is this. Are you happy with who you are?  It's not about what others perceive. I can tell you this, people perceive Radio personalities as being wealthy.  That may be true for a few but that's not the normal. Most that are a part of it struggle financially because they are sure the right opportunity will come along.  They stick it out because they love it because the money is not there. Then there are those that are forced out due to station cutbacks. For every cool thing Radio is, it is a cutthroat industry leaving a sea of broken dreams in its wake. You see now what I mean about perception.  Sometimes we want everyone to see all the good stuff and keep the rest buried.
The truth is I spent a lot of years chasing a dream that probably wasn't worth chasing financially, at least for me.  I struggled financially for years trying to fit every job I had around my part time Radio gig, that was what mattered. My marriage was failing so I did not care if I was at home or not.  You see once again you can paint a great successful picture of yourself but seriously it isn't always totally true. My point is before you form an opinion of someone try getting to know them. What makes them tick?  Don't form your opinion on what you see on Social Media.  I love social media for how it allows us to keep in touch and plan events. What I hate it for is the perception it puts out there.  The reality now is my life is somewhat great but not because of my career. It's because of who I allow in it.  It's because I chose love and not negativity. It because I get to come home to a house full of love. To me that is what matters the most.  That's reality.

 

A Letter To My Late Mother

Billie Marie Pope 

I know that she won’t read this or respond back but I think it helps some

Hey Mom, just wondering how you are doing? How does it feel to be pain free? I hope that you think of me often because I think of you daily and miss you a lot. I truly regret all the times I called the house and asked for dad and didn’t spend more time talking to you. I absolutely had no clue that you would be taken away so soon in my life.  I know that you did your best to prepare me for the future. I just wish I would have spent more time learning about your past.  There are so many questions that are left unanswered. I miss the chats we would have about life in general. I miss talking to you about books and music.  I miss your popcorn visits as you would call them. You would drop by for about 5 minutes and you would be ready to leave.  I wish I could have 5 more minutes of your time. I hope that is not being selfish, you raised me better than that.  How Is Granny and “Scooter” doing? Can he still root for his Cowboys from up there? They need the help of Heaven for a miracle this year. I am not sure you would believe how well dad is doing. He still loves his wrestling and old westerns.  We try our best to get the family together like you would want us to.  Your granddaughters are all grown up with children of their own and you would be proud of the women they turned out to be. I would say that life is good for me. I feel sometimes that you are looking down on me and maybe sometimes you have God’s ear because I feel his blessings a lot.  I think you might have something to do with that.  I tell you mom I found a girl that you would love. She reminds me so much of you it is unreal.  She has a lot of your traits but has a lot more patience. That is a good thing because I constantly test it. She loves me anyway. She takes such good care of me.  I feel that you might have led me to her.  Is that crazy?  I don’t think so. I often find myself thinking about all the good times we had. Do you remember the times that you pulled me out of school early to take me shopping with you so that you did not have to go alone?  I can remember those days like they were yesterday.   I can remember every Christmas we would always get what we asked for.  I remember my first brand new stereo that you bought for me.  I can still remember the way it smelled when I pulled it out of the box.  I still remember how many times I was grounded and forced to read because there was nothing else to do in my room except stare at the walls.  I owe a lot of what I am to you. I could not have asked for a better mother. You would be the first to admit that you weren’t perfect but you did your best and your children respected you for it.  I can say there were many times that I was not happy at the time of punishment. I can also say that those punishments saved me a lot of heartache. I did not understand your reasoning back then but I get it now. This time of year always makes me think about how that you never wore a coat in the winter time just a wind breaker or denim jacket. You were one tough woman.  I hear a lot of people say that they do not want to become their parents when it comes to disciplining their child but I do not feel that way at all.  Thank you for teaching me right from wrong and for loving me.   I wish I would have told you more that I loved you mom but I didn’t. I will tell you now, I love you mom and miss you. Please keep a watchful eye over us. 

P.S I dearly miss your fried chicken and Italian Creme Cake    

Take care mom I will talk to you soon.

Your Son

Kenney Pope  

Wait

Waiting has never been my strong suit. I want something and I want it now. I take after my late mother in that regard. She had absolutely no patience. Why is it that when we fail to wait and try to  do something on our own it just winds up worse than what we originally started with. I know that it is a learned response and behavior. Is it because we are selfish? I think maybe it's because we can't see the bigger picture. We are stuck in the here and now. We might not be able or willing to know how decisions made in haste will affect us down the road. I will say I have gotten better at waiting. It's a little easier to do when you find that something worth waiting for.  I have made snap decisions that have come back to kick me in the rear. Let me state this for the record, even in a bad situation some good things can be found if you look.  Maybe we have jumped into a relationship that wasn't meant to be. We get married and a few years down the road it falls apart.  Now I know in a lot of situations that the demise of a marriage cannot be seen and people change.  I am talking about red flags that pop up and we ignore because we are impatient and don't want to wait for the someone who is perfect for us. Yeah it happens every day.  Like I said some good comes out a bad situation. We have children that came out of that situation and that's a good thing. At the very least we learned a life lesson on patience, never settle. Maybe it's a job situation you think a possible door has opened and you walk through it only to be disappointed. Just around the corner your perfect job was filled by someone else because you weren't available.
     The truth is this, we can't see the big picture. God has our best interest at heart and the key to good decision making always starts with praying about it. If a door closes on a situation or relationship walk away don't try to force the door open. You at that point are an unwelcome guest and that is not a good thing.  We need to be in a place in our lives where we can see the door is closed. If you wait you just might see something more fulfilling and life changing will come along. 
   I along with you am slowly learning not to jump so quick.  I promise if you wait something worth waiting for will come our way. Remember this, no blessing comes by just posting amen or liking a Facebook page. If that were the case there would be a billion millionaires.  Life is hard enough and I don't want to add to the hardships by jumping to fast because I don't want to wait.
    So put a smile on your face stand in line and wait and I know you will find not only what you are looking for but what you need.
Have a great Saturday.
PS #waitingonacowboyswin

Persistence

Let me tell you a short story with a not so happy ending. Well I will let you decide that for yourselves. A week or so ago I was eating my lunch in my truck in the parking lot of our warehouse. As I was enjoying my meal, out of nowhere a bee flies through the open window of the passenger side. I take off my ball cap and swat him out the window.  I saw that I knocked him down but did not see where he landed.  I was thinking I knocked him outside of the truck. I say him because I will not hit a girl.  (Unless it’s my sister, long story ask her) Seriously not cool to hit a girl. As I finish my lunch break I walk around to the passenger side of the truck to see if he is still flopping around in pain because I was going to do the humane thing and put him out of his misery. (After I taunted him for messing with the wrong truck) I didn’t see him so I thought that maybe he had rolled under the truck for protection until he got bee wits about himself and could fly off.  So be it Mr. Bee I had left my mark. I left it at that and went inside to go back to work. I did not think anything else about it until this morning.  I got in my truck this morning and there it was a dead bee in my cup holder. My mighty swing had finally killed him a mere week and a half later.   I just want everyone to know that was my plan, a slow painful death for disturbing my lunch with a potential sting. Here is the funny thing. I have been driving for the last week and a half with what sounded like something bouncing off of a paper bag. Yes a paper bag that is what fast food comes in and I had one lying on my back floorboard.  I thought that the noise was strange but chalked it off as weird truck noises. It now occurs to me that that bee was in my truck the whole time and could have struck me at any time he chose to do so.

     My lack of persistence could have cost me a bee sting whilst driving down the road.  It would have been my own fault for not verifying where the bee went after I swatted it down. Lucky for me I had the only bee in America with a love for McDonald’s fries and he never posed a threat. But of course now I have a concern that fries are deadly to bees.  One topic at a time, I digress.  Once again this weekend I was reminded of the value of persistence.  As I watched the tale of two nights, where the same team had a different outcome each night it was a perfect example of persistence.  A lead of 4 runs heading into the top of the ninth, the home team winds up losing the game in the bottom of the ninth.  A person or team could surely give up and throw in the towel. It just wasn’t to be this year oh well. We will get them next year.  That is not what happened at all.  The home team comes back the next night and finishes the same team that humiliated them the night before to win the division title. 

       We never know what life will throw at us. There will always be hurdles and obstacles. Sometimes we get complacent or lazy and give up before the race is finished. We give up too quickly when right around the bend is the finish line with your reward for running the race well. We will never know what could have been because we let life defeat us.  If we are unwilling to be persistent in the midst of a challenge then we cannot blame others for our predicament. I have known a few people in my lifetime that weren’t persistent. They got tired and life defeated them. They took their lives. They will never know how close they were to the payoff. Their life might have been on the upswing if they would have just run the last few steps.   In this life we may never have the why’s answered. We will never know what tomorrow brings. The thing to remember is as long as you have breath and a heartbeat, be persistent and run the race well.  As for the bee he was persistent he could have left the truck at any point during the week and a half he was in the truck he chose to stay and well, it cost him his life.  Maybe he was planning retaliation. Decision making is another subject for another time.